It was a cold November night in 2003. Julie and I had not come to terms about my service, but I had already been commissioned and attended Basic Training in San Antonio and the Army’s Flight Surgeon School at Fort Rucker, Alabama. We had a babysitter and in classic John and Julie fashion, our special date consisted of a light dinner and a walk in a local park. At the end of the first lap I told her the news that she never wanted to hear. “My unit is going.”
She didn’t say anything. She looked at me in disbelief. She turned and walked to the car and left. I didn’t know if she was going to come back and pick me up or not. I just kept walking.
A couple of hours passed. She came and picked me up and we drove home. We went to bed without a word. A further split in the chasm.
I awoke the next morning with the kids. I fixed breakfast and played with them while Julie slept. Actually, I doubt she slept at all that night. You should know that my wife’s faith has been very consistent. She has always had a close relationship with God. From time to time the way she would respond or relate to me would prove that it was not her emotions that spoke but rather the word she received from God. That morning, after the worst news she could imagine, she gave me a gift. She didn’t have to, but she blessed me in a way that still is hard for me to understand.
She came out of the bedroom and walked in front of me to get her morning coffee. She returned to the living room, stood near the fire place and looked at me. She sat her coffee on the mantel and walked over to the sofa where I was sitting. With a slight grin she reached out her hands to my neck and said, “You know, I could strangle you.”
Duty involves a commitment to do what is right even when it leads to personal harm. Following through with my commitment to serve was a necessary part of duty. The act of stepping away from my family and promise of a good job was difficult but necessary.
Dear Lord, the cost of duty is so high. The cost is separation, lost opportunity, uncertainty. So often we give into the fear of the unknown. Remind us always that any cost is temporary for those who know and love you.
“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… . But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15)