“The times I was scared they were the times I didn’t think I would be. The times I was relaxed were times people would think that I’d be scared.” These were the upside-down expectations that Captain Malugani had during the Battle of Fallujah in 2004.
She expected to be scared when she went on jump teams into Fallujah during the taking of the city, but she found calmness instead. “If I had to be any place, I would want to be with an infantry regiment. I was surrounded by a regimental combat team, hundreds of Marines. I felt very safe, protected. I felt surrendered to their expertise.” She also found strength in the experience of those around her.
“My colonel had more than twenty years in the military. I was with a gunner that had more than twenty years and a sergeant major who had more than twenty years. I had sixty years of experience with me every single day. With all that was going on in Iraq, it was not a safe place to be. But now with these three experienced Marines, I was in the safest place I could be.
“Early in my deployment, my mom asked me, ‘Are you safe?’”
“Well, it’s kind of relative, Mom. I’m in Iraq.”
During the Battle of Fallujah, Malugani found that she felt less safe during times of isolation in a tent that the Marines used for transient needs. “They put me in there because I was the only female with them. They were concerned for me, making sure I had space in a secure area. With no electricity and often rain beating down on the fifty-man tent, being alone was accompanied by irrefutable fear.”
She often longed to talk with her father, who had served as an Air Force paratroop rescuer in Vietnam because he would understand the things she was going through. Her grandfather served in the Army during World War II. Their service inspired Amy to join the military. Although she couldn’t always talk to her earthly fathers, she knew she could instantly turn to her heavenly father.
“When I would see things that were really challenging, I would remind myself that this is the now. I knew I would have an opportunity later, when there was time, to process what I was seeing as well as pray. I would remind myself that my expectations weren’t matching my reality and that was okay.”
Thank you for being a Father who is available to listen 24-7.
“About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray.” (Acts 10:9)