'Our experiment,' Dr. Felloni finally said with a gallop of nods, `will offer new insight into the relations between
sexual behavior, sexual tolerance and personality stability.'
'I read your letter to the Esso Foundation,' Dr. Mann said.
'I know a teen-age girl that could run intellectual rings around most of us here,' Jake said, changing the subject with
out blinking an eye. `She knew everything, brains coming out of her ears. I was within weeks of a major breakthrough.
But she died'
'She died?' I asked.
'Fell from the Williamsburg Bridge into the East River. I confess I see her as one of my two or three possible failures.'
'Look, Tim' I said turning back to Dr. Mann. `I agree our experiment borders on nonsense, but in an absurd world, one
can only go with the flow.'
'I'm not interested in your metaphysical speculations.'
`Or my scientific ones. Maybe I'd better stick to talking about the stock market.'
'. `Oh come off it now, you too,' Jake said. `Ever since Luke wrote his paper on "Taoism, Zen and Analysis", Tim has
been feting as if he'd been converted to astrology.'
'At least with astrology,' said Dr. Mann, looking coldly at `one still tries to predict something important. With Zen
drifts into Nirvana without thought or effort'
`One doesn't drift into Nirvana,' I said helpfully. 'The drifting is Nirvana.'
`A convenient theory,' Dr. Mann said.
'All good theories are.'
'Gold stocks and General Motors have risen an average of two points a week so far this month,' Dr. Felloni said,
nodding.
`Yeah,' said Jake, `and you'll notice that Waste Products, Inc., Dolly's Duds and Nadir Technology are all rising.'
Dr. Mann and I continued to look at each other, he with warm red face and chill blue eyes, and I with what I intended
to be cheerful detachment.
`My stock seems rather low these days,' I said.
`Perhaps it's gravitating to its natural level,' he replied.
`It may yet rally.'
`Drifters don't rally.'
`Yes they do,' I said. 'You just don't understand Zen.'
`I feel blessed,' Dr. Mann said.
`You've got eating, let me have my Zen and sex experiments.'
`Eating doesn't interfere with my productivity.'
'I rather imagine it increases it.'
Ha flushed even more and pushed back his chair.
`Oh shit,' said Jake. `Will you two stop it. Tim, you're sitting there like a fat Buddha attacking Luke's Buddhism, and
Lu-'
`You're right,' Dr. Mann said, sitting now as stiffly in his chair as his lumpy clothing and body would permit. `I
apologize Luke. The rolls were cold today and I had to attack something.'
`Sure,' I said. `I apologize too. My martini was diluted and I had to hit back.'
The waitress was at the table again and Jake was getting ready to order dessert, but Dr. Felloni spoke loudly to the
general table: `My own portfolio has risen fourteen percent in the last three months despite a market decline of two
percent.'
`Pretty soon you'll found your own foundation, Renata,' Dr. Mann said.
`Prudent investment,' she replied, `is like prudent experimentation: it sticks to the obvious.'
For the rest of the lunch, the conversation was all downhill.
Chapter Five
After lunch I paid my ransom at the local parking lot and drove off through the rain for the hospital. I drove a Rambler American. My colleagues drive Jaguars, Mercedes, Cadillacs, Corvettes, Porsches, Thunderbirds and (occasional slummers) Mustangs: I drove a Rambler. At that time it was my most original contribution to New York City Psychoanalysis.
I went east across Manhattan, up over the Queensborough Bridge and down onto the island in the East River where the State Hospital is located. The ancient buildings appeared bleak and macabre. Some looked abandoned. Three new buildings, built of cheerful yellow brick and pleasant, shiny bars, make hospital appear, together with the older horror houses, like a Hollywood movie set in which two movies, `My Mother Went Insane' and `Prison Riot', are being filmed simultaneously.
I went directly to the Admissions Building, one of the old, low, blackened buildings which, it was reliably reported, was held together solely by the thirty-seven layers of pale green paint on all the interior walls and ceilings: A small office was available to me there every Monday and Wednesday afternoon for my therapy sessions with select patients. The patients were select in two senses: one, I selected them, and two, they were actually receiving therapy. I normally handled two patients meeting each for about an hour twice a week.