Smiles A Lot was a member of the great congregation dancing around the fire that night.
No one had questioned his joining the warrior ranks, an action that, considering his lack of standing, would have been unthinkable in the past. But times were different now. Very young boys like Snake In Hands had gone among the warriors. Every soul was more precious than ever and every soul was welcome.
It had taken courage for Smiles A Lot to move his feet forward to the call of the drums, but once he was in the circle his steps grew stronger with each one taken, and by the time the first round of dancing reached its climax, his body, fixed in the grip of music and fire and the blackness of night, was moving without thought.
Smiles A Lot had been one of the exhilarated warriors left inside the circle when the drums finally ceased. He had danced for hours, but his body had crossed the narrow threshold that normally separates exhaustion from renewal. Far from being tired, Smiles A Lot felt positively airy. His feet were light, his blood flowed unimpeded, and his head was clear as a cloudless day. It was natural that such rapture would guide his gaze to the face in the surrounding circle which brought him incalculable joy, and a few moments after the drums ceased he looked in that direction.
She had been watching all night and when she saw him look her way she flashed the shy, closemouthed smile that had marked the start of his lovesickness. Yet in a subtle way the smile was different. Its shyness was newly tinged with a familiarity that made it knowing, and the effect on him was more entrancing than ever.
Smiles A Lot and Hunting For Something had touched but only in the accidental way people living under the same roof often do. They had not slept together or embraced or nuzzled, or even held each other's hands. They had talked of many things, but only obliquely about their feelings for one another. To surmise, however, that theirs was a union of convenience would have been wrong. No young couple was ever happier than Smiles A Lot and Hunting For Something. That they had not touched was of no importance, for reality had supplanted their mutual, despairing dreams of being together with a magnificent new dream, a dream that floated them through each day and laid them down each night in an inconceivably effortless way. Night was the most difficult part of existence because thoughts of each other circled so furiously in their heads that both shuddered at the thought of making a physical overture.
But while she watched him dance, a curious feeling crept over Hunting For Something. She wasn't sure what it might mean, but the sensation was intoxicating. All she knew for sure was that she had never imagined that such a feeling of pride could exist within her for a man. He had danced until the end, but long before that he had begun to attract attention for the compelling way in which he moved. He was so committed and animated in his actions that he had danced all night on the narrow edge of disaster. But he had never gone over, and to Hunting For Something he distinguished himself as one of the few who abandoned themselves to the dance with the relentless, unstoppable bravery a true warrior exhibits in battle.
Her observation that experienced warriors noted his commitment reinforced the honors he had received for killing two of the enemy, erasing all traces of doubt she might have had in his ability to provide the security every Comanche woman expected from a man.
And to see him boldly take his place in a pair of moccasins, a set of leggings, and a battle shirt fringed with the scalps of slain foes she had fashioned with her own hands swelled her heart to bursting. She even had an intimate connection with the bow and arrows he carried on his back all night. The first time Smiles A Lot hunted for her he had killed a large panther and carried it all the way back to camp. She had skinned it and cleverly constructed a bow case and quiver from its hide. There was nothing like it in camp and it had drawn many comments for its beauty and uniqueness.
Hunting For Something's happiness was so complete that she could not bear to look his way for long, and, leaving him to converse with the other warriors, she hurried back to their lodge to recheck the items she had gathered for the dangerous journey he was to embark on the next day.
Her heart jumped when she heard him coming in but she continued tidying his bed and poured fresh water into a bowl before she felt composed enough to look at him.
His face was painted black with red half-circles around his eyes. In the separate world of the dance it was fitting, but here it made her uneasy.
“You scare me now."
Smiles A Lot touched his face with a finger. "The paint?"
"It makes me afraid."
Smiles A Lot grinned and nodded his head. "Good," he said, "maybe it will make the enemy afraid, too."
He reached down for the water bowl and she handed it up. Then he sat in front of her and splashed water on his face.
"Are you tired? " she asked, handing him a cloth.
"Yes, I feel good."
While his eyes were covered with a cleaning rag, Smiles A Lot heard her say, "You were the best,"
"I was just dancing," he said and shrugged.
For reasons that mystified the new warrior, Hunting For Something seemed suddenly frustrated.
"I thought you were the best," she said, rising defiantly off the floor. "Good night."
Helplessly, he watched her step past the bed where Rabbit was sleeping and slip huffily into her own.
Smiles A Lot wanted to ask what was wrong but she had turned her face away. All he could see was the back of her head. He finished rubbing the paint off his face, slipped out of his clothes, slid under the covers of his own bed, and tried to think of tomorrow.
But he could not maintain a single line of thought. The girl lying a few steps away kept intruding and he had just begun to think of how he might find the courage to go to her when he heard a rustling of covers.
A moment later she was standing over him in the half-light of the dying fire, staring down with an odd look on her face.
"I want to sleep with you," she said emphatically and before Smiles A Lot could respond, she was pulling her dress over her head. In what seemed one motion she dropped the dress and lay down beside him, stretching her long, skinny frame straight out as she nestled against his chest.
"There," she sighed, snaking an arm under his and pulling herself closer. "This is how it should be."
He could feel her moist breath as she whispered against his shoulder. He could smell the fragrance of her skin. The pressure of her lithe body was the most wonderful thing he had ever felt.
"You make me happy," he whispered. "I don't want anybody but Hunting For Something."
As he said this he pulled her closer and he could feel her lips brush the skin on his shoulder. Her free hand stole softly onto his chest and didn't move, and Smiles A Lot thought briefly that he might levitate off the bed.
"I want a baby," she murmured.
One of her legs slipped between his, and Smiles A Lot's mind ceased to function under the barrage of tactile sensations that overwhelmed it. His body lost its tension as it melted into hers and they writhed under the covers as two snakes entwined, groping, twisting, undulating in celebration of instinct. The awkwardness of novices was flung aside as they feverishly searched out one another, and even as she cried out, Hunting For Something urged him on. By then Smiles A Lot was past all need of encouragement, and the perfection of the collision that came soon after left them stupefied.
After a few minutes he rolled to one side but she did not move. Her glistening eyes stared into space while her shoulders and chest heaved for breath.
He watched her dreamily, his fingers playing with a thick strand of her shiny, black hair.
"I think I have it," she whispered blankly.
"What?"
"A baby."
A look of puzzlement appeared on Smiles A Lot's face.
"How do you know that?"
"I feel different."
"Maybe we should do it again."
She shifted her eyes to his and smiled. "I would like that," she said.
"I've heard that some people have to do it a lot to get a baby," he said, laughing.
Hunting For Something turned her face to the shadowy rafters overhead.
"You have to come back," she commanded.
Smiles A Lot lay back then, and together the lovers contemplated the nothingness above them.
"Warriors die sometimes," he said softly.
"I'll pray to the Mystery every day," she countered. "I'll pray to the Mystery all the time you're gone."
She talked on a few minutes more before she realized her husband had fallen asleep. Hunting For Something lay as she was, swathed in the fertile, pungent odor of their lovemaking, her sleepy, unfocused eyes staring into the Mystery as she marveled at the incontestable change that had taken place deep in her body.
Then she, too, fell into a leaden sleep, which passed uninterrupted until first light, when she woke to find Rabbit's bright, inquisitive eyes gazing at her. Sometime during the night the boy had wedged himself between them.
"What are you doing here, little brother?" she asked drowsily.
"I got lonely. Is this how we will sleep from now on?"
"Where's your brother? "
"He's here."
Rabbit turned impulsively and began to shake his sleeping brother.
"Smiles A Lot, wake up. . Smiles A Lot!"
While Hunting For Something packed his food and accoutrements, Smiles A Lot chose three excellent ponies from his herd and set to work in front of the lodge painting crow symbols on the tough little dapple-gray that had carried him to the Medicine Bluff and back.
At mid-morning, Dances With Wolves appeared with his dejected children to ask Hunting For Something if she would look after them in his absence. Her heart opened to the gloomy children being left behind and she promised to take good care of them.
Smiles A Lot had been selected, along with Dances With Wolves and a few other seasoned warriors, to scout the advance for the main column, and they disappeared to make final arrangements with their compatriots.
In the time they were gone, Snake In Hands and Always Walking sat as listlessly as the condemned, a demeanor they maintained through the riotous, village-wide send-off for the more than one hundred cherished warriors who rode onto the plains a few hours later.
This time a score of warriors, among them several Hard Shields, had been left behind. The village was secure, and Hunting For Something was happy when Rabbit, Snake In Hands, and Always Walking went on an egg-hunting expedition, leaving her free to daydream about Smiles A Lot through the afternoon.
But she began to worry when there was no sign of the children at sunset and her heart jumped with fear when Rabbit came in alone just after dark.
"'Where are Snake In Hands and Always Walking?”
"They're gone," the boy answered impassively.
"Gone? Where?"
"They went after Dances With Wolves."
"What?" cried Hunting For Something, her voice rising. “When did they go?"
"Oh, a long time ago."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"They made me promise not to tell anyone till after dark.”
Hunting For Something's hand had gone over her mouth and she was staring wide-eyed at nothing as her mind ran with all manner of tragic possibilities.
"Were they on foot?" she asked, suddenly hopeful.
"No, no, they took ponies. . and food, too."
Rabbit's attention was momentarily diverted to a kettle hanging over the fire.
"Can I have something to eat?"
But there was no answer and when he turned to see why, all he caught was a glimpse of Hunting For Something's backside as she ducked out of the lodge.