My boss Sean and I are on assignment in Hong Kong to write about Hong Kong 's crisis of confidence. On Friday evening, we receive invitations to Club Ing in Wan Chai, a farewell party for an English banker who is returning home.
Attendees include bankers, consultants, lawyers, foreign journalists, advertising agents, Chinese celebrities, and people of uncertain background who call themselves free agents or writers. Most people don't know the English banker, but it doesn't matter. Just like in the West, connections have always been important in Chinese culture, especially in Hong Kong. That's why parties are not to be missed.
White gloves, martinis, cries in English of "Hi" and "Oh yeah," hugging and kissing greetings, politely revealing teeth in a small smile, conversing in a mixture of Chinese and English. Neither Chinese nor Western – it is very Hong Kong.
I soon discover that no one actually knows anyone very well, but the warm way in which people greet one another makes it seem as if they've known each other a long time. In conversation, people constantly drop names. "Do you know So-and-So?" is a mantra. It helps people find connections but it can also rescue you when you don't know what else to say. Moreover, the more people you know, the more social you are, and the more people want to get to know you.
Among the Chinese, the names people love to drop the most are names of high-ranking officials in China, or the cousins of high-ranking officials, or the wives of the nephews of high-ranking officials, any of which automatically raises their status. Knowing even the driver of a high-ranking official can make the speaker proud and the listener stand in awe. As soon as I admit that I went to high school with the son of China 's president, many show interest and come to talk to me.
Among the expats, the names dropped are often old classmates or coworkers. People who say, "So-and-So was my classmate in Boston " are Harvard or MIT people, as always. No one will say the name of the school he went to. The unspoken rule for everybody at this sort of gathering is that name-dropping is fine, but school-name-dropping is considered outre.
A woman walks past facing me. She looks me up and down and then greets me warmly. "Isn't that Niuniu? Do you still remember me – Auntie Man? I'm your old neighbor! I never would have imagined you're so grown-up. We mustn't have seen each other for many years! I never would have thought I'd bump into you at a place like this!"
I remember. This Auntie Man was my old Beijing neighbor. Auntie Man struck up a conversation with a Hong Kong businessman one day when she was walking along the street. Later, she married him and moved to Hong Kong to be a mainland wife.
"Auntie Man, how's your life in Hong Kong?" I ask.
" Hong Kong is so expensive! An apartment is several million Hong Kong dollars; a car parking space is a couple of thousand per month. Now my husband's company has set up a branch in Shanghai, and we're going to move there. Everyone's going to Shanghai, you know! Who made Shanghai so cheap? But I'll have to keep an eye on my husband. Shanghai girls are all after men!"
I introduce Auntie Man to Sean. Just as they are shaking hands, a Chinese couple walks over to Sean.
The husband has a broad face. He is wearing a polo shirt, pants with suspenders, and black-rimmed glasses, and his hair is slicked back and shining. He looks part cartoon, part tycoon.
The wife has narrow eyes that are arched slightly upward, the Asian beauty that is popular overseas now. Her lips are thick and full; they remind me of the soft-rock singer Sade. She wears high-heeled shoes with pointy toes. Her Chinese-style dress is like a giant man's hand, stroking her waiting body. She carries a small black leather handbag. The label is Prada.
They embrace Sean warmly.
Sean turns to me. "Let me introduce you. This is Kelvin Chang. I met him when I was studying Chinese in England. This is Mrs. Chang."
"Hello. I am Sean's colleague Niuniu."
"And who is this?" Mrs. Chang looks at Auntie Man.
"My old neighbor from Beijing, Auntie Man. We haven't seen each other for many years. I never would have thought we would meet at a cocktail party here. It is a small world," I say.
"It really is a small world." Auntie Man nods at the Changs and repeats my words significantly.
After the Chinese couple leave, Auntie Man pulls me to one side, looking at Mrs. Chang's swaying back, and whispers, "That bitch sure can put on a show! Seeing me and pretending she doesn't know me."
"Do you know her?" I ask.
"Even when my bones have turned to ash I won't forget her." Auntie Man bites her lip. "We used to be in the same propaganda troupe. Her husband played the Chinese violin. Later, we went on tour overseas, and she hooked up with a local in Hawaii and stayed. She wrote to her husband back in China that she would make enough for him to join her in the United States. Eight years ago, my hubby and I spent our honeymoon in Hawaii. Guess who we saw in a strip club? This same Mrs. Chang danced on the bar stark-naked. Look at her now, she acts like she's a rose. I was her old coworker in the propaganda troupe, but she pretended not to know me. You know why? Only I know of her sordid past. But I'm still not one of those gossiping housewives. I never told anyone about her."
With these words, Auntie Man leaves me and talks to others. I don't want to hear anything. Gossip can confuse people's state-of-mind. The less I know of these sorts of things, the better. I can tell that she is repeating the story to everybody because everybody she talks to immediately glances at the Changs.
I feel a little dizzy. Tonight, I have handed out so many name cards and greeted so many people. I think of Mother. She never tires of attending these sorts of gatherings. She has not much education or even a formal job. How can she always be the center of attention in such gatherings? And I, it seems, have not inherited her social graces. A party can be nice, and knowing So-and-So is nice, but not always: there are always people at the party you wish you didn't know, just as Mrs. Chang didn't expect to meet Auntie Man.