For Beibei and her husband Hua, adultery is not a good word. They call their union an open marriage. Married with extramarital affairs is the most apt description of their lifestyle. Both Beibei and Hua belong to the growing group who claim that they are too lazy to get a divorce.
"What's the point," says Hua.
"Men are all the same," claims Beibei, echoing the familiar mantra of women with unfaithful husbands.
Not surprisingly, Beibei doesn't believe in fidelity within marriage anymore, and she is not alone. A rising population of young white-collar Chinese embrace the idea of the one-nite stand. Traditional Confucian moral values that the Chinese have clung to for thousands of years have simply lost their validity and make little sense in this world of instant gratification. If you see something you like, go for it. This is the new dogma.
According to a recent survey, 37 percent of all one-night stands take place between partners who meet on the Internet. Beibei doesn't like the uncertainty of the information superhighway. She sticks with the traditional way, picking up guys or waiting for guys to pick her up in bars, at dance clubs, or even on the street. This way she won't be surprised or disappointed on the initial meeting.
Beibei tells Lulu and me about her most recent rendezvous with men on the street. "It's so easy. Sometimes I just wear some makeup and revealing clothes. As I walk on the street, men come to me and ask me if I'd be interested in being their girlfriend for a day or two. It's all upfront – there's no need to wonder if he will call you the next day."
Beibei is daring, but she also sets a rule for herself: no repetitions – one time and she's done. For her, the most embarrassing moment is to meet her playmate again in the same bar they first met. Normally, she pretends that she doesn't know the man and looks for new faces to talk to.
One night, Beibei brings Lulu and me to a place called The Bananas. As we order some cocktails, Beibei spots Luyi, her passionate fling from just yesterday. As usual, she ignores his existence. But Luyi walks toward her. Beibei starts to complain, "That guy that is walking toward us was with me last night. It looks like he wants to bother me again. Let's get out."
Before we can make our move, Luyi makes a turn toward the girl who sits alone not far away from us. He moves through the crowded and dimly lit bar as if he was wired into some ultrasensory neural network to locate an available and accommodating miss. But his neurons may have misfired, as the young woman waves him off with hardly a glance.
So he walks toward Beibei. Beibei confronts him first, "Sorry, I won't have the same item on the menu on consecutive nights."
"I was going to say hello to your lovely friends to see if they have some free time tonight," Luyi says politely.
"Why not that young woman over there?" Beibei points to the woman that has already rejected him. As he turns to see who she is pointing to, Beibei, Lulu, and I vanish from his sight – just like signing off in an Internet chat room, one click and we're gone!