The ancient art of name-dropping is widely practiced throughout modern China. It is a highly valued skill to know just when to use one's affiliation, however remote, with important people to elevate one's own status. More than one business deal has gone through as a result of impeccable name-dropping. Name-dropping is especially vital today because the more important your connections are, the more likely you will succeed in business. The proper subjects of name-dropping are anyone in a position of political power, rich people, celebrities, and, in fact, any person related to such people. The skill lies not in finding the proper name to drop, or in dropping a name at the most opportune time. For a name-drop to be truly successful, the right name must be dropped at exactly the right time. I have met a name-dropper at a party organized by my friend Beibei at Factory 798. Qing is a public relations executive from northeastern China.
Handing me a glass of red wine, Qing looks down at his shoes and asks me, "How do you like my new Armani? I bought them when I was traveling with our governor in Milan. They cost me five hundred dollars – three days' salary. Can you believe that?"
I am turned off right away by Qing's little demonstration of self-worth. I smile at him without saying anything.
Seeing that Armani doesn't impress me, Qing starts sharing anecdotes of playing mahjong with his city's mayor and police chief.
Again, I am not amused. Disappointed with his progress, Qing changes his strategy.
"Niuniu, what is the name of that newspaper you work for?"
"World News Agency."
Qing says instantly, "I know someone who works there. His name is Eric. He's a Harvard grad."
"Yes, he's our big boss," I say.
Qing nods with satisfaction. He has established his superiority to me.
"I'll find an appropriate time to mention you in front of him," says Qing.
"No, please don't."
"Why not? Eric is a good friend of mine."
"He's my boss's boss. I'm just a small potato. I don't really think Eric knows of my existence."
Still trying hard, Qing asks me, "Would you be interested in going to another party? The son of a vice premier is coming to that party and I have been invited. You can come as my guest."
Before I can reply, Beibei comes running up and interrupts. "Oh, the son of a vice premier is not nearly important enough for our Niuniu. Do you know that she went to school with Hu Haifeng?"
"Who's Hu Haifeng?" Qing asks.
"Do you know who Hu Jintao is?" Beibei asks.
"Of course. He's the number-one man!" says Qing.
"Hu Haifeng, Hu Jintao – do you see the relationship here?" Beibei raises her eyebrow.
I can't stand it anymore. I pull Beibei away from Qing and whisper, "Beibei, are you crazy? Hu was my classmate in middle school. We haven't talked to each other for thirteen years. I am sure he doesn't remember me."
"Oh, come on, do you think Qing is really friends with Eric?" Beibei asks me.
"You've been listening to our conversation?"
"Of course! Armani, mayor, police chief, governor, blah, blah, blah. This guy's a serial name-dropper. What a snob."
As we speak, Qing walks up to us. Before he has time to speak to us, his cell phone rings. Beibei and I listen in.
"I'm in a party with my buddy Niuniu. Yes, she is an old friend of Hu Haifeng. Hu Haifeng? You don't know him? Does the name Hu Jintao mean anything to you? Yeah, that's right…"
"Look whose name is being dropped now," Beibei says, winking at me.
"The next time you organize a party, don't forget to set a name-drop-free zone," I say to Beibei.