That very same day an old man dressed in a white suit and a straw boater and wearing queer pink embroidered slippers with turned-up toes entered the offices of the Central Excursion Bureau. He politely inquired whether he had the good fortune of being in the chambers of that high-placed establishment which granted people the fragrant joy of travel. The secretary, surprised by such a flowery question, replied in the affirmative. Then the old man inquired in the same florid language where the wise man worthy of the greatest respect sat, he, who was in charge of booking passage on the ice-breaker “Ladoga.”
He was directed to a plump, bald man seated at a large desk piled high with letters.
“But please bear in mind that there are no cabins left on the ‘Ladoga’,” the secretary warned.
The old man did not reply. He thanked her with a nod and approached the plump man silently. In silence he made a low bow, in silence and with great dignity he handed him a roll of paper wrapped in a newspaper; then he bowed again, turned in silence and left, with the puzzled eyes of all who had witnessed this curious scene following him out.
The bald man unwrapped the newspaper. There, on his desk, was the strangest letter the Central Excursion Bureau had ever received — or, for that matter, the strangest letter ever received by any Soviet office. It was a yellow parchment scroll. A large green wax seal dangled from a golden silk cord attached to it.
“Did you ever see anything like it?” the plump man asked loudly and ran off to show it to his chief, in charge of long-range cruises.
When they had read it, his chief dropped his work and the two of them dashed off to the director.
“What’s the matter? Can’t you see I’m busy?” the director said.
The section chief silently unrolled the parchment scroll.
“What’s that? Is it from a museum?”
“No, it’s from ‘Incoming mail’.”
“Incoming mail?! What’s in it?” After reading the contents, the director said, “Well, I’ve seen quite a lot in my day, but I’ve never received such a letter. It must have been written by a maniac.”
“Even if he is a maniac, he’s a collector of antiques,” the section chief answered. “You try to get some genuine parchment nowadays.”
“Just listen to what he’s written,” the director continued, forgetting that his subordinates had already read the message. “It’s typical raving!
“ ‘To the greatly respected Chief of Pleasures, the incorruptible and enlightened Chief of the Long-Range Cruise Section, may his name be renowned among the most honourable and respected Section Chiefs!’ ”
The director read this and winked at the section chief. “He means you, I guess!” The section chief coughed in embarrassment.
“ ‘I, Hassan Abdurrakhman, the mighty Genie, the great Genie, known for my power and might in Baghdad and Damascus, in Babylon and Sumer, son of Hottab, the great King of Evil Spirits, a part of the Eternal Kingdom, whose dynasty is pleasing to Sulayman, the Son of David (on the twain be peace!), whose reign is pleasing to their hearts. Allah was overjoyed at my blessed doings and blessed me, Hassan Abdurrakhman, a Genie who worshipped him. All the kings reigning in the palaces of the Four Parts of the World, from the Upper Sea to the Lower Sea, and the kings of the West who live in tents — all have brought their homage to me and kissed my feet in Baghdad.
“ ‘It has become known to me, O most noble of Section Chiefs, that a ship which navigates without sails and is named the “Ladoga” will soon set out on a pleasure cruise from the city of Arkhangelsk with famous people of various cities aboard. It is my wish that my two young friends, whose virtues are so many that even a short enumeration of them will not fit into this scroll, should also be among them.
“ ‘Alas, I have not been informed of how great a person’s fame must be in order that he be eligible for this magnificent trip. However, no matter how great the requirements, my friends will meet them — nay, more than meet them, for it is in my power to make them princes or sheiks, tsars or kings, the most famous of the famous, the richest of the rich, the mightiest of the mighty.
“ ‘I kiss your feet seven times and seven times and send you greetings, O wise Section Chief, and request you to inform me when I and my two young companions should appear on board the above-mentioned ship, may storms and ill-fortune by-pass it on its distant and dangerous journey!
“ ‘Signed by the hand of Hassan Abdurrakhman ibn Hottab, the Mighty Genie.’ ”
At the very bottom was Volka’s address, enclosed for a reply.
“’Ravings!” the director said, rolling up the scroll. “The ravings of a madman. Stick it away in the file and be done with it.”
“I think we’d better answer him, or the crazy old man will be dropping in five times a day to find out about the outcome of his application. I assure you, it’ll be quite impossible to work in the office,” the section chief objected. A few minutes later he dictated an answer to his secretary.