During the winter vacation, Zhenya went to visit his relatives in Zvenigorod. On January 4th he received a letter, which was of extreme interest for at least three reasons. In the first place, this was the first letter he had ever received in which he was addressed by his full name, as a grown man. In the second place, it was the first letter Hottabych had ever written to his young friend. But of greatest interest were the contents of this most remarkable message.
Following is the letter, slightly abridged:
“O most lovable and precious friend, the sweet and singular adornment of all schools and sports fields, the fond hope of your native arts and sciences, the joy and pride of your parents and friends, Zhenya ibn Kolya, from the famous and noble family of Bogorads, may your life’s road be strewn with thornless roses and may it be as long as your pupil, Hassan Abdurrakhman ibn Hottab, wishes it to be!
“I hope you remember how great my joy and gratitude were when, six months ago, you, O my young friend and friend of my young saviour, released my unfortunate brother Omar Asaf ibn Hottab, from whom I was so grievously separated for many centuries, from his horrible imprisonment in the copper vessel.
“But immediately following my first joy of a long-awaited reunion, there came a terrible disappointment, for my brother turned out to be an ungrateful, short-sighted, narrow-minded, grouchy and envious person. And he, as you well remember, took it upon himself to fly to the Moon, in order to be convinced whether its surface was truly covered with mountains, as our highly educated friend Volka ibn Alyosha stated, basing his knowledge on a science called Astronomy.
“Alas! It was not a selfless thirst for knowledge that guided my unwise brother, nor the noble and exemplary desire to discover the World, but a vain and ignorant wish to belittle and shame a person who had tried to hold him back from committing a fatal deed.
“He did not even take into account the laws of another science called ‘Mechanics,’ and thereby doomed himself to an eternal and useless circling of the Earth, which, as I recently discovered (who could have ever dreamed of it!) in turn revolves around the Sun!
“Three days ago I received a message from you, O Zhenya ibn Kolya, which bears the scientific name of ‘Telegram,’ and in which you so graciously and pleasantly wished me a Happy New Year. And then I recalled that my unpleasant, but extremely unfortunate brother is spinning round in the sky day and night and that there is no one to wish him a Happy New Year. And so, I prepared for a journey, and exactly at noon I took off for the far distances of Outer Space, in order to visit Omar Asaf, to wish him a Happy New Year, and, if it were at all possible, to help him return to the Earth.
“I will not tire your kind attention, O Zhenya ibn Kolya, with a description of how I was able to manage the Law of Universal Gravitation. For this is not the purpose of my message. Suffice it to say that at first I took off at approximately the same speed as Omar Asaf, and, as he, I turned into a satellite of the Earth, but only temporarily, and only long enough for a meeting with Omar. Then, when I saw it was time for me to return to the Earth, I turned to face it and assumed the speed necessary for overcoming the forces which revolved me about the Earth, just as a pail of water tied to a string would revolve round a boy who held the string. It is of no use to write what my speed was. When I next see you, I will show you all the calculations I did with the aid of my knowledge of Mathematics, Astronomy and Mechanics, which you and Volka ibn Alyosha so graciously and patiently taught me. But this is not the point in question. I sincerely wished to visit my poor brother…”
Hottabych had apparently burst into tears at this point, for the ink was all smudged. That is why we find we must leave out several lines.
“Leaving the Earth, so full of cheerful noonday light behind, I soon entered an area as black as pitch that was terribly and unbearably cold. As before, the far-off stars sparkled in the icy darkness with a bright but dead, unblinking light, and the pale yellow disk of the flaming Sun blinded my eyes.
“I flew on and on, amidst the cold darkness and silence. I was about to despair, when, suddenly, on the black velvet of the sky, there appeared a skinny body, brightly illumined by the Sun. It was approaching me at tremendous speed, and the long beard flowing behind like the tail of a comet, as well as the incessant and vicious grumbling, told me beyond doubt it was my brother.
“ ‘Salaam, dear Omar!’ I cried, when he came abreast of me. ‘How is your health?’
“ ‘Not bad,’ Omar answered reluctantly and in an unfriendly voice. ‘As you see, I revolve around the Earth.’ He chewed his lips and added dryly, ‘Tell me what you want. Don’t forget that I’m a busy man. State what you want and be off.’
“ ‘What are you so busy at, O my good brother?’
“ ‘What do you mean what at?! Didn’t you hear me say I’m now working as a sputnik? I keep revolving like mad, day and night, without a moment’s rest.’
“ ‘O woe is me!’ I cried in great sorrow. ‘How sad and uninteresting your life must be, amidst this eternal cold and darkness, in constant and useless revolving, apart from all living things!’ And I burst into tears, for I was so terribly sorry for my brother. But in answer to my heartfelt words, Omar Asaf replied coldly and haughtily:
“ ‘Don’t feel sorry for me, for I am less in need of pity than anyone else on Earth. Just look around and you’ll be convinced that I’m the largest of all celestial bodies. True enough, both the Sun and the Moon shed light — though I don’t — and are even quite bright, but I am much larger than they are. I don’t even mention the stars, which are so small that a great multitude of them could fit on my finger-nail.’ Something which resembled a kindly smile appeared on his face. ‘If you wish, you can join me and become my sputnik. We will revolve together. Then, not counting me, you’ll be the largest of all celestial bodies.’
“In vain did I rejoice at this brotherly show of affection, though it may have taken a rather strange form, for Omar Asaf continued as follows:
“ ‘All celestial bodies have their sputniks, but I have none. It makes me feel inferior.’
“I was amazed at the ignorance and stupid conceit of my brother. I understood that he did not want to return to the Earth and so said with a heavy heart:
“ ‘Farewell, for I am in a hurry. I still have to wish some of my friends a Happy New Year.’
“But Omar, who, apparently, had his heart set on this idea of his, roared:
“ ‘Then who will be my sputnik? You had better remain of your own free will, or I’ll tear you to bits!’
“With these words he grabbed hold of my left leg. I kept my wits and turned sharply to a side, wrenching free of Omar, though leaving in his grasp one of my slippers. Naturally, he wanted to catch up with me, but he could not do so, for he had to continue his endless journey around a circle known by the scientific name of ‘orbit.’
“Flying off to a good distance, and still feeling a bit sorry for my unpleasant and conceited brother, I shouted:
“ ‘If you are so in need of sputniks, O Omar Asaf, you shall have them!’
“I yanked five hairs from my beard, tore them to bits and scattered them about. Then many-coloured, beautiful balls, ranging in size from a pea to a large pumpkin, began revolving around Omar Asaf. These were sputniks worthy of him both in size and in beauty.
“My brother, a short-sighted person, had apparently never thought of making his own sputniks. Now, in his great pride, he desired to have a sputnik the size of a mountain. And so, such a sputnik immediately appeared. But since the mass of matter within this mountain was hundreds of thousands of times greater than the weight of my scatter-brained and ignorant brother Omar Asaf, he immediately crashed into the new celestial body he had created and bounded off it like a football. With a terrible wail, he began revolving around it at top speed.
“Thus, Omar Asaf fell a victim to his terrible vanity by becoming the sputnik of his own sputnik.
“I returned to the Earth and sat down to write you this letter, O you, who have all good assets, in order that you do not remain in ignorance of the above events.
“I also hurry to add that on Gorky Street , at the radio store, I saw a wonderful set with nine tubes. And its virtues are endless. Its appearance would please the most choosy eye. It occurred to me that if I were to attach…”
The letter then continued as a typical radio fan’s letter would, and there is no sense quoting it, for radio fans will not find anything new in it, and those who are not interested in this branch of communications will find nothing in it worthy of their attention.