“No; please don’t mention my name,” said Bloomfield.
“Wouldn’t the best thing be to send Riddell back with a label, ‘Declined, with thanks,’ pinned on his coat-tail?” suggested Crossfield.
“Yes; and add, ‘Try again, Paddy,’” said Coates, laughing.
“And just mention no schoolhouse snobs are wanted,” said Tucker.
“And suggest, mildly, that a nice, clever, amiable, high-principled Welcher like Tom Tucker would be acceptable,” added Crossfield.
“Look here,” said Tucker, very red in the face, advancing towards his tormentor, “I’ve stood your impudence long enough, you cad, and I won’t stand any more.”
“Sit down, then,” replied Crossfield, cheerfully, “plenty of forms.”
“Look here, you fellows,” said Bloomfield again, “for goodness’ sake shut up. Have it out afterwards if you like, but don’t fight here.”
“I don’t mind where I have it out,” growled Tucker, “but I’ll teach him to cheek me, see if I don’t.”
So saying, much to the relief of every one, he turned on his heel and left the room.
After this the discussion again got round to Riddell, and the question of a petition was revived.
“It would be quite easy to draw something up that would say what we want to say and not give offence to any one,” said Ashley.
“But what do you want to say?” asked Fairbairn. “If you want to tell the doctor he’s wrong, and that we are the people to set him right, I don’t see how you can help offending him.”
“That’s not what we want to say at all,” said Game. “We want to say that the captain of Willoughby has always been a fellow who was good all round, and we think the new captain ought to be of the same sort for the sake of the school.”
“Hear, hear,” said one or two of Parrett’s house; “what could be better than that?”
“Well,” said Porter, “I don’t see much difference between saying that and telling the doctor he doesn’t know what he’s about.”
“Of course you say so — that’s your schoolhouse prejudice,” replied Wibberly.
“It’s nothing of the sort,” said Fairbairn, warmly; “you know that as well as I do, Wibberly.”
“I know it is,” retorted Wibberly; “you’d put up with anybody as long as he wasn’t a Parrett fellow.”
And so the wrangle went on; and at the end of it the company was as near agreeing as they had been at the beginning.
Finally one or two of the schoolhouse fellows, such as Fairbairn, Coates, and Porter, withdrew, and the Parrett faction, having it then pretty much their own way, drew up the following petition:
“We the undersigned monitors respectfully hope you will reconsider your decision as to the New Captain. The captain has hitherto always been an ‘all-round man,’ and we think it would be best for the discipline of the school to have a fellow of the same sort now. We wish to say nothing against Riddell except that we do not think he is the best fellow for the position. We hope you will excuse us for stating our opinion.”
To this extraordinary document all the monitors of Parrett’s and Welch’s houses present put their names, as well as Gilks and one or two others of the schoolhouse, and after deciding not to present it till next day, by which time it was hoped other signatures might be procured, the august assembly broke up.
The reign of Riddell had not, to say the least of it, opened auspiciously as far as his fellow-monitors were concerned. And outside that body, in Willoughby at large, things did not look much more promising.
The feeling in Parrett’s house was of course one of unmingled wrath and mutiny. When once the heads of the house were known to have declared so unmistakably against the new captain, it was not much to be wondered at that the rank and file followed their lead in a still more demonstrative manner.
It happened that Parson and his friends, Telson (who, though a schoolhouse boy, seemed to live most of his life in Parrett’s), King, Wakefield, and Lawkins, had planned a little expedition up the river between third school and “call-over” that afternoon, and the present state of affairs in the school formed a rather lively topic of discussion for these worthies as they pulled the Parrett’s “Noah’s Ark”—by which complimentary title the capacious boat devoted to the use of the juniors of the house was known — lazily up on the tide towards Balsham.
The river was pretty full, as usual at that time of day, and as one form which the wrath of the youthful Parretts took was to insult, and if opportunity arose, to run down the craft of either of the other houses, the discussion on the condition of Willoughby was relieved by more than one lively incident.
“Think of that chap being captain,” said Parson, standing up on the back seat, with the rudder-lines in his hands so as to command a good view of the stream ahead. “He couldn’t row as well as old Bosher there.”
As “old Bosher” was at that moment engaged in super-human efforts to keep his balance with one hand, and extricate his oar, which had feathered two feet under the surface of the water, with the other, this illustration was particularly effective and picturesque.
“Oh, he’s an awful cad,” said Wakefield, who was rowing bow. “He reported me to Wyndham last term for letting off crackers in bed.”
“What a beastly shame!” was the sympathising chorus.
“And you know—” added King.
But as Bosher fell rather violently backward into his lap at this instant, and let his oar go altogether, what King was going to say did not come out.
After a vast amount of manoeuvring, back-watering, shouting, and reaching to recover the lost oar, the voyage proceeded.
They had not proceeded far when the racing-boat of their house, manned by Bloomfield, Game, Tipper, and Ashley, and coached from the bank by Mr Parrett himself, spun past them in fine style and at a great rate. As became loyal Parretts, the juniors pulled into the bank to let the four-oar pass, and, not content with this act of homage, they volunteered a round of vehement applause into the bargain.
“Bravo! Well rowed, our house! Two to one on Parrett’s! Three cheers for Bloomfield! Three cheers for the captain! Hooroo!”
With this gratifying salute the boat darted out of sight round the bend, leaving the juniors once more to continue on their festive way.
“Isn’t old Bloomfield a stunner?” said Lawkins. “He’s the sort of fellow for captain! Not that schoolhouse idiot, Riddell.”
“Easy all there about the schoolhouse,” shouted down Telson from his place at stroke. “I’ll fight you if you say it again.”
“Hurrah! let’s land and have a mill!” cried King. “I back you, Telson, old man.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean to cheek you, Telson,” said Lawkins, humbly. “I’ll apologise, you know.”
“Jolly good job,” said Telson, grandly, “or I’d have licked you.”
“All the same,” said Lawkins, “old Bloomfield’s—”
“Look out now!” suddenly broke in Parson, who had been gradually getting excited where he stood; “there’s the Welchers coming! Pull hard, you fellows, or they’ll cut us out. Now then! Row, Bosher, can’t you, you old cow? Yah! hoo! Welchers ahoy!” he cried, raising his voice in tones of derisive defiance. “Yah! boo! herrings and dough-nuts, jolly cowards, daren’t wait for us! Booh, funk-its!”
With such taunts the Hector of Parrett’s endeavoured to incite the enemy to battle. And the enemy, if truth must be told, needed very little persuasion, especially as the crew in question consisted of Cusack, Pilbury, and the three other ill-starred victim of the raid of two days ago.
They lay on their oars and waited for the foe to come up, Cusack shouting meanwhile, “Who’d be afraid of a pack of thieves like you! I wouldn’t! I dare you to land and fight us! Dare you to run into us! Dare you to stand still till we lick you! Dare you to do anything but steal other fellows’ grub! Ye-ow!”
“Now, you fellows,” cried Parson, “put it on.”
A few strokes brought the two boats level, and then, as they lay side by side at oar’s distance, ensued a notable and tremendous splashing match, which was kept up with terrific vigour on both sides, until not only was every combatant splashed through, but the two boats themselves were nearly swamped.
Then, after either side had insultingly claimed the victory, the boats separated, and the dripping warriors parted with a final broadside.