"That sounds scary," Amy replied. "Make it a nice memory."
"No, it's all right. It was nice. It was wonderful, really. My family and I were up at our summer place in Maine. It's an island house a little way off the coast, and you have to go back and forth to the mainland by boat. We'd done it for years so it was no big deal. It's great to get away in the summer to such a peaceful place. It gives me plenty of time to be by myself and paint and watch the sea and things like that.
"Sometimes fog would come in, and if one of us was over on the mainland to a movie or something, we would have to spend the night in the car. It's very easy to get mixed up in a Maine fog, I'll tell you that, even if you only have about a half mile to go from shore to island.
"This one night, it was a Saturday, my parents had let me take the boat over to the mainland so I could go to the Cundy's Harbor square dance that was held every Saturday night in the firehouse. I had some other friends and we always used to meet at the dance. It was a great time.
"When I got back to the boat that night, a thick fog had settled in over the water. I couldn't even see the lantern that my parents always left burning for me at the end of the pier on the island. It was really thick stuff.
"I should have stayed in the car on the mainland, but I figured I'd be able to make it over to the island if I just followed the reefs around and kept a look-out for the lantern. So I went down to the dock and got into the boat. It was all wet and cold. I got the motor going - it was our old ten-horse Johnson. Off I went. I was sure I'd be there in a few minutes.
"I got lost. I got so lost that before you knew it I didn't even know in what direction I was headed. Those fogs can be really tricky."
"Weren't you scared?" Amy asked.
"I suppose I should have been, considering I could have run aground on some rocks or something. But I wasn't. The night was really calm. I cut the motor, hoping I'd hear something that would give me a sense of direction. I could hear the foghorn from the point, and the far clang of the bell buoy near Bear Island. The water made lapping sounds on the boat. But I really couldn't tell what direction any of it was coming from.
"It was beautiful out there. There was phosphorus glowing in the wake of the boat. I just let myself drift for a while. I knew that I had no idea of where I was. I hadn't been in the boat long enough to get too far from home, so I still wasn't worried.
"I drifted toward a lobster buoy that a lobster-man had attached to his trap, and decided to tie myself up to it. There was no point in just drifting into trouble. I sat there in the dark and quiet. The fog drifted in waves around me. Every once in a while the moon shone through for a minute or two.
"Some seals stopped by and poked their heads out of the water near the boat. They were curious, I guess. They barked and snorted a few times and then slid back into the water and disappeared.
"It was a great night. I slept some, I guess, but it really didn't matter. It was fine to be out there all by myself on the water. I'm sure my parents thought I was sleeping safely in the car or at my friends' house.
"The dawn was beautiful, too, and the fog burned off. It turned out that I was only a hundred yards or so from home the whole time. Sounds crazy, I guess, but I'll always remember that night as being - I don't know - really great."
Kirk didn't say anything.
Amy sighed. "I wish I'd been there too. You know what I found a few days before I came to the hospital?"
"What?" Kirk asked. "Prince Charming?"
"Oh, stop it, Kirk, I'm serious. Just before I came in here, I was going over some old boxes of my stuff and I found a clay hand I'd made when I was in first grade. You know, one of those things where you make a pancake out of clay and press your hand in it with your fingers all stretched out and then run home and give it to your mother. I took it out of the box and held my hand against it. It was very strange."
"Why?" Brent asked.
"The thing that amazed me so much was that it was hard to believe that I had ever had such small hands. The hand in the clay seemed too little to have ever been mine."
"You'll have to face it one day, baby, we all have to grow up sometime," Kirk said.
"Oh, I know, Kirk. It's just that sometimes I don't much like the idea."
Sometimes Brent worried about things like that too, but he had never had anyone to talk about it with before.
They spent the rest of the afternoon gabbing about the past and things little kids do and what makes them scared and all, while Brent tried to forget the conversation he had overheard between Kirk and his parents earlier.
"Oh, Monty, pick me! Oh, Monty, pick me, pick me!" Kirk shouted in a falsetto voice. "I want to win a refrigerator! Pick me, Monty, pick me!"
The three were watching Let's Make a Deal on television the next day.
"Can you believe those jackasses?" Kirk said in his normal voice. "There they are, dressed as carrots or buffaloes, screaming their greedy heads off so they can pick some stupid curtain and win a gag prize like a horny llama or something. You know what I'd do if I were on that show? I'd scream and squeal like the best of them and Monty would have to choose me. Then I would ask for the curtain girl instead of the curtain. I think she's listed in the Spiegel catalogue, f.o.b. Detroit, retail value forty-seven fifty. These daytime game shows make me want to puke."
Amy began to cry. She didn't make any noise at first, just her shoulders shook as she sat at the end of the bed facing the television. Brent and Kirk turned to her. She didn't say anything, she just continued to cry.
Kirk swung his legs over the side of his bed and grabbed for his crutches. He stumbled from the room without looking back. Amy buried her head in her hands. The deals and the boxes and the curtains continued flowing from the television.
Brent rolled onto his side so he could see down the bed to where Amy was sitting. He didn't know why she was crying, but he wanted to comfort her. He felt he wouldn't know the right thing to say, though.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"I don't know. I feel sad. I'm scared, Brent."
"Why?" Brent asked.
"I don't know. I'm just scared. I wish I knew what was going to happen to us, to me."
"Yeah, I know. But you're fine. Your mother says you're fine."
"I'm scared anyway. I'm worried, Brent. I wish I felt fine."
"Look, Amy. Everything's going to be all right. There's nothing to worry about. You'll be out of here soon and so will I, and nothing's ever going to get to Kirk. It would take a bulldozer to knock him flat."
"I know. I'm being stupid."
The television blasted: "And which curtain will you choose for the big deal of the day, Curtain One, Curtain Two or Curtain Three?"
Amy continued crying.
"Look, it's all right, Amy. I don't know what else to say."
"There's nothing you can say, Brent. I'll be fine. I'm just scared is all. Like this show. Like if I had to pick one of those curtains, it would be the wrong one. They'd open my curtain and something awful would be there, something frightening. It's like a nightmare. The curtain would be open and everybody would scream, and I don't know what my prize would be, Brent, but I know I wouldn't be a winner."
"You'll be a winner this time, Amy. You'll be fine. It's all right to be scared."
"You never are though, Brent."
"Yes, I am. I just never show it is all. I don't know why sometimes I'm so scared it hurts. Or I hurt so much I'm scared, but I never want to show it. I'd never mention anything like this to anyone except you and Kirk. You two are special. Otherwise I don't show it to anybody at all."
"Thanks," she said, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands and sniffling. "I just wish I knew what was behind the curtain."
Kirk barreled through the door, pushing the lunch cart ahead of him.
"I don't know what's going on in here, but it's against the rules. How many times have I told you two, no one is allowed in a room alone without a chaperone, or you have to have at least three feet on the floor. Let's shape up, you two. The nurses are beginning to talk."
"Let them talk," Amy said. "You can't stop the course of true love."