“You’re a very good rider,” Ian praised Lila as he cantered alongside her.
“Maggie’s the horsewoman of the family,” Lila said modestly though she was thrilled that he’d noticed her ability with a horse. She was used to being thoroughly in Maggie’s shadow in equitation, as in most things, but since Ian had arrived, he’d paid attention only to Lila and she was glad that, at least, she’d worn Maggie’s cast-off riding outfit with the cute high hat and the short nipped waist jacket. Although it was a hand-me-down, Ian had never seen it before, and Lila felt it showed her figure to good effect.
She had never felt more grown-up.
They were at the far end of the estate and Edmund Marlborough’s massive home was in view. Drawing to a halt, Ian emitted a long, low whistle of awed admiration. “What a place!” he remarked, gazing at the immense building.
“It’s something, all right,” Lila agreed, slowing beside him.
“Is your sister seriously thinking about marrying that guy?” Ian asked.
“I’m not sure. We’re not as close as we were when we were younger. She no longer confides her thoughts on things like that to me. I can’t believe she would be happy marrying someone so old, but it’s possible she would sacrifice herself for the good of the family.”
“And to go live in a place like that,” Ian suggested. “Can you imagine? That place is grander than the White House.”
“The where?” Lila asked.
“The capitol building in Washington,” Ian explained.
“I should have realized,” Lila said with an embarrassed laugh. It thrilled her that Ian never talked down to her and treated her as an equal. Since his return home, Wesley had been busy taking an informal inventory of Wentworth Hall and its surroundings, no doubt to make suggestions to their father about what should be sold and what kept. This left Ian with a lot of time to spend with Lila, and she was loving every second of his attention. “I’d very much like to visit America some day. Wes told me he had a great visit with you.”
“Perhaps you’ll visit next,” Ian suggested.
His words sent a thrill through her. Did he mean it? He seemed sincere. “That sounds wonderful,” she replied.
“You’ll love Newport,” Ian went on. “The Astors have their summer place right near ours.”
“That’s so tragic about Mr. Astor dying on the Titanic,” Lila commented, glad to have something knowledgeable to contribute.
“It is. I used to see him during yachting season. It’s somehow fitting that he died at sea, since he was quite the sailor.”
“I would love to learn to sail someday,” Lila said, although the notion had only just come upon her at the moment.
Delight danced its way up her spine as Ian smiled at her. “I think it would be great fun to teach you how,” he said, and she returned his smile. Apparently she had said exactly the right thing.
“Then you promise to teach me when I come to visit,” Lila dared to press her luck.
“It’s a promise,” Ian replied.
As Lila and Ian sat on their horses, smiling at each other, Lila felt happier than she could remember feeling in a long time.
Maggie tried to block out the sound of the baby crying. But no matter how far down the hall she retreated, she couldn’t block it. Where was Therese?
Why didn’t someone go to James?
Unable to stand it another second, Maggie wheeled around and headed for the nursery. She found the baby kicking as he wailed in his crib. “There, there,” she soothed as she bent to him. “I’m here.” Instantly he calmed, turning toward her breast, even though the milk had dried in it months ago. Unexpected tears leaped to her eyes, one spilling down her cheek. He looked so much like Michael. It hurt to look at James just as it hurt to look at his father. It was exactly why she’d vowed to have nothing to do with him. It seemed like the right thing to do, but it was just so difficult.
“You’re so beautiful, you look just like your daddy, don’t you, sweetheart?” she whispered to the baby, rocking him in her arms.
Maggie brushed her wet eyes as her mother appeared in the doorway. “Why are you in here?” she asked.
“He’s been left here to cry!” Maggie explained her presence. “Where is Therese?”
“Running down to the kitchen to get his infant formula, most likely.” Lady Darlington shut the door behind her. “Maggie, we need to talk.”
Lady Darlington spoke in an agitated whisper. “Quite clearly whomever wrote that last newspaper satire is implying that there has been some involvement between you and a gentleman. You’ve never told me who the father is, and I’ve taken your word that he is not someone who will make claims on James, who is now clearly a Darlington. But you must tell me who else might know about your… indescretion!”
Maggie knew she owed her mother a great deal. She’d helped Maggie through her secret pregnancy, had agreed to raise James as her own. Her mother had even lied to Lord Darlington about it. Not that her mother’s motives had been entirely unselfish. If it came out that Maggie had had a child out of wedlock, the family name would be forever tarnished. All hope of her making a lucrative marriage would be dashed forever.
“Maggie, I feel forced to press you now that you’ve turned away both Teddy and the Duke. I must know who James’s father is,” Lady Darlington spoke in a whisper.
“It’s as you assumed,” Maggie lied, unable to meet her mother’s gaze. “It was… someone I met during my come-out in London.”
“Are you sure he doesn’t know?”
“He has no idea.”
“Is he a person you might consider marrying? Or… is he already married?”
“No! Absolutely not! But things are better as they are,” Maggie replied. “Besides, I don’t love him and he knows it.”
Lady Darlington shook her head woefully. “If you don’t love him, how did you let this happen?”
Maggie’s mind raced. She needed a quick story and her mother had taken her off guard with this line of questioning. “It was the champagne,” she blurted out. “It made me feel giddy and romantic. It was my coming-out ball and I was eager for adult life to begin.”
“Foolish girl,” Lady Darlington lamented.
The wetness returned to Maggie’s eyes. If her mother only knew how truly foolish she had been. She’d always loved Michael and their acting on that love had had an air of inevitability about it; all their lives had led to that one blissful encounter in the stable’s hayloft. But then—on the very night she was about to tell him she was pregnant—Michael had broken it off, saying that the inequity in their stations made their romance impossible. He was always doing that—running hot and cold with her. He would tell her he was trying to protect her from a life of service, which would be inevitable if they were together. But a few kisses and he would warm right up again. That last night, she’d already learned of her pregnancy. So his coldness was more than she could bear. How could he claim he didn’t love her? And then avoid her for weeks? That set her on a path leading to where they were today.
Why hadn’t he taken her in his arms and said they should run away together? She would have gone—in a heartbeat! Why did people have to be divided by something as arbitrary and heartless as their station in life? Now she couldn’t leave. Not when James was at Wentworth Hall. She couldn’t be a mother to him, but she would not abandon him.
What a right mess they had created!
Now Michael said he loved her and that he’d been wrong. Would he love her if he knew the truth? Maybe not. Even if they could never be together, the knowledge that she had his heart was a comfort. She would never do anything to jeopardize that. He could never know about James. Not ever.
No one could know.
If it came out that James was her baby, everything would be ruined: The Darlington name would tarnished forever; her chances of making a favorable match—one that the family desperately needed her to make—would be hopelessly dashed.
The consequence most distressing to Maggie would affect Lila. Before she even had her coming-out ball, her hopes of attracting a desirable beau would most certainly be destroyed. Her guilt was so immense it made being around Lila almost unbearably painful. She remembered how close they had been as girls and how much Lila had worshipped her. She had once basked in her younger sister’s adoration, but since she’d returned home it only made her feel hypocritical, knowing she was unworthy of that worship. Maggie could never make herself forget that Lila’s future might be utterly destroyed at any moment and it would be all her fault.
Maggie knew her aloof behavior hurt Lila to the core, but ultimately it was for Lila’s own good. If she knew how Maggie had put Lila’s whole life at risk, she would feel completely betrayed. It was better that there be some distance between them now. If the crack-up of their relationship came, the hurt wouldn’t cut as deeply if there was already some distance between them.
The main problem, though, was that she missed Lila’s companionship. It killed her that Lila thought Maggie was pushing her away and Maggie longed to explain what had happened. It could never be. For everyone’s sake, Maggie had to keep the truth a secret, no matter what the cost.
“Maggie,” Lady Darlington’s voice cut through Maggie’s thoughts. “You must tell me who this baby’s father is. I thought we could let it go, but these newspaper pieces have changed all that. People will quickly figure out that they are skewering our family. Even if this paper is mostly read by the servant class, we all know servants gossip! We will be a laughingstock and our name forever ruined if this issue isn’t quickly resolved. Tell me who it is, I beg of you. We can force this young man to marry you.”
Maggie held James more tightly as she fought back another onslaught of tears. “I don’t want him to marry me,” she insisted in a choked voice, not meeting her mother’s gaze, when all the while marrying this baby’s father would have been her dearest wish come true.