I was visited with heartbreaking emotions when I first proposed to write this book. I didn’t want needed details to again exploit any of his earlier victims. How, I wondered, could I teach people to avoid being victims in the future if I denied them the experience of the past? I strongly considered diluting the emotions, diluting the exploitation, diluting the impact on the individual. I was torn between wanting to protect others, and the natural tendency to protect myself from revisiting the terrible truths that wanted to seek me out and harm me once again. I wanted to hide. I wanted to dig a hole and pull myself in and never deal with the terror again. But if I truly wanted to help others avoid the traps set by a sociopath, I had to look straight into the face of the devil one more time. That sounds grand and altruistic, but admittedly, I had to use the truth to heal myself as well. If I looked away from evil, that evil would live inside me. If it continued to live inside me, I knew it would destroy me. I decided it was paramount to the truth, important to the reader, and absolutely necessary to my well being to be open and frank and relentlessly honest. There were times I turned away from memories too painful to consider. But I always came back. I began again, in spite of the pain, and as the truth found its way into print, the pain was slowly replaced by pride. Surely the truth would be important to strangers who happened on this book. And surely, I began to see and understand, the truth would heal me. I prayed the truth might set me free.
I have minimized personal, identifying details. I have tried to protect the victim’s identity. Still, I had to use enough detail that the behaviors of the sociopath could be put on display and recognized by the reader. Protecting identity while fully exposing techniques and tools used by the sociopath has been hard. I suspect I have erred in each direction. I hope I have not strayed too far in either misdirection. I ask the reader to look past the personal details of the sociopath’s victims, and see the manipulator, the devil himself, at work. Observe closely. And being aware, beware. Observe the manipulations, lies, deceits, disguises, and deviant patterns of the sociopath. See the absence of conscience, emotional vacancy, total disregard and contempt for his victims. Imagine no loyalties, no concern or caring for anyone but himself. Imagine no restraints. Imagine, if you dare, the blank tablet inside the sociopath’s mind.