Dr. Louann Brizendine, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, claims that a woman uses about twenty thousand words per day, while a man uses about seven thousand. The corollary to this statement is that a woman can actually hear and process up to twenty thousand words a day while a man can only hear and process seven thousand. I’ve never read her work so I don’t know how robust her research is, but intuitively her claims make sense.
My life experiences tell me that the male and female brains are different and that the average woman uses way more words than an average man can hear and process.
I asked my wife to conduct an experiment with me. Like most wives, she has complained for years that I don’t hear a single word she says. I asked her to try to tell me the things she wanted me to remember in the mornings rather than the evenings. I wanted her to tell me important things before I’d reached the upper limits of words I was able to hear and process in a day. Our little experiment worked. I was much better at remembering things I heard in the morning than in the evening.
Since it is impossible for you to hear every word that a girl is saying to you, I’d advise you to stop trying. Men have a limited ability to listen to women. As long as a woman’s attractive, we have an unlimited ability to watch her. Since it’s inherently impossible for you to hear and remember every word she says, use her visual cues and her body language to determine what you need to hear and what you don’t.
Let’s be honest here—most women bore us in the same most men bore women. It is interesting to watch an attractive woman. More often than not, it is not interesting to listen to her. If you’re doing something interesting, you’re less likely to fall into a daydream. By watching her, you’ll be able to tell when you have to listen.
When people say something important to them, they tend to go completely still or they make a forceful motion. Watch for these signs; when you see them listen carefully. When you don’t it’s probably okay to let the woman’s words flow past you.
When you’re picking up a girl and when you’re on your first date, you’ll want to remember everything she thinks is important. Watch to see if she is leaning toward you or away from you—away is bad. Is she moving her hands as she talks or does she have her arms crossed—arms crossed is bad. The best of all signals is if she runs her fingers through her hair when she looks at you. This usually means she’s physically attracted to you.
When she shows you the bad signs, change what you’re doing—it isn’t working. When she shows you the right signs, you’re on the right track—keep it going.
After you’re married or if you’re living with a girl, life will be a lot easier for you if you take a second to take in the light of your life’s body language when you come home. If she gives you a quick kiss hello and then turns her head away from you talking to you as she does other stuff, you’re fine—it’s safe to let her words become white noise.
If she keeps eye contact with you—worse has her hands on her hips or arms crossed—you’re in deep shit; you’d better listen to what she has to say. She’s already pissed; you don’t want to piss her off more by making her repeat herself.