Never stay with a woman out of fear. There’s nothing more pitiful than a man who stays with a woman who’s not good enough because he thinks he can’t do better.
If you learn how to pick up girls, you won’t ever have to be a coward. You’ll be able to break up with any woman, confident you’ll be able to get another.
There are as many differences among human beings as there are similarities. From the very first, I’ve tried to make it clear that my techniques will only work for guys who know how to think. I’ve dated and have been with a lot of women, but I’m not trying to claim that my insights are universal to the rest of the 3.5 billion females on our planet. I feel that I have a reasonable statistical sampling, but my advice is based only on my personal experience.
I encourage you to read this book with a skeptical mind. If my descriptions and analyses of women don’t match the women you know, make your own analyses and judgments.
Life is better if you can problem solve. I often see men who have no problem debugging code or fixing engines freeze helplessly when they have woman problems. Yes, women are complicated, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use your mind to figure them out.
It’s ridiculous for a man who can learn how to use Linux to NOT learn how to predict women. It’s silly for a guy who can repair and maintain his home, vehicle, tools and equipment to not learn how to fix and maintain his own relationship.
If you’re heterosexual, you need to prioritize! Women are more important than gear or video games!
Nothing here is written in stone, and I am certainly not inspired by God. You don’t have to agree with me; my goal is to have you problem solve women and relationships the same way you do code, engines, plumbing, and wiring.
If what I recommend makes sense, try to follow my advice. If it doesn’t, try to come up with your own solutions.
There are countless books out there sorting women into different types. The American Psychiatric Association publishes the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). If you want an exhaustive list of every mental disorder than people can get, this is a good resource
For our purposes, I’ll separate women into three types: normal, victim, and vampire. I encourage you to stay with the normals and avoid the victims and vampires.
Normal women react normally. If you treat them well, they’re happy. If you treat them badly, they’re not. When life goes well, they’re content. When bad things happen, they get depressed.
Normal women’s brains are hardwired differently than normal men’s brains. Because of this, to a certain degree all women are crazy to all men and vice versa. But there are normal differences and abnormal differences. I’ll discuss victims and vampires in later chapters. I’ll focus on normal women in this chapter.
Our desires come from our innermost instincts. Outside the need to survive, one of man’s strongest instinctive desires is to have sex with as many attractive women as possible. Further down the list of priorities is our need to be with a woman we love. It’s common for us to pursue a woman with everything we’ve got, and then completely lose interest as soon as we catch her. When this happens, it reveals that the only thing that was driving us was lust and that the woman had nothing else we wanted.
It’s unfortunate, but most men (and this certainly includes me) are too dumb to know when their desire is driven by true attraction or just pure lust. I’m certain there are enormous advantages to being celibate until you get married. Never having tried that, I can’t tell you what they are. One of the advantages of premarital sex is that once you’re done, you get immediate visceral feedback about how you really feel about the woman you’re with.
If you have sex with a girl and afterwards you immediately want to head for the horizon, then Run Forrest, Run—just as far and as fast as you can. Your subconscious is telling you that the only thing going on between you and her is physical, and that once your hormonal needs are satisfied, there’s nothing left.
It’s not uncommon for a girl who makes you to want to flee to have great traits. If you pursued her and slept with her, by definition she was physically attractive. Often she’ll have other traits such as a good sense of humor or common interests. You might be tempted to try to make it work, especially after a few days when you’ve gotten horny again.
All the guys I’ve seen overcome their initial visceral need to flee eventually regret it. They can’t ever get that small, quiet, nagging voice in the back of their heads to stop whispering that they could do better.
Most normal women aren’t sluts. Most normal women don’t want to sleep with a man who has no intention of ever committing to them. It’s an asshole move to sleep with a girl when you know there’s no chance of anything coming out of it.
As previously mentioned, there are already plenty of assholes, but I’d also encourage you to not be an asshole for your own sake. It’s a rare asshole who isn’t miserable. If you want a reasonable chance at happiness, DON’T be an asshole.
Okay, what do you do when you sleep with a girl and afterwards you want to stay with her forever? You should trust your gut but verify that it’s correct.
It’s much easier to break up with a girl you like than it is with a girl you love. Everyone is on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship and it’s hard to keep level headed when you’ve just found someone new.
If you think you’ve found THE ONE, I recommend you meet her friends and family as quickly as possible. You should also introduce her to your friends and family.
It’s a rare man who volunteers to meet a girl’s parents early in a relationship. Every time I’ve asked to do that, the girl was pleased; it meant I was taking our relationship seriously. Your mental attitude makes a difference when you meet someone. Most of my friends were scared shitless the first time they met their girlfriend’s parents. My friends always made the mistake of waiting until they were totally in love. They had too much to lose if the parents didn’t like them.
If I thought a girl could be the right one for me, I always tried to meet her parents when I just liked her. If they didn’t like me, it wasn’t as big of a deal. I looked for things like, ‘Was the mom overweight?’ ‘Was the dad a dick?’ ‘How well did the parents get along?’ and ‘Did the girl and her dad have issues?’
Genetics matter—if the mom’s overweight, there’s a much higher probability that your girlfriend will eventually be overweight too. If the father is a complete dick or her mom’s a bitch, future family get togethers are going to be ugly. The environment that your girlfriend grew up in is important—if her parents get along well, the odds are good that she’ll know how to get along with a guy. If her parents don’t get along, the odds are that she won’t.
One of a girl’s most important relationships is the one she has with her father. That relationship will color every other male relationship she ever has. If she has major daddy issues, you won’t be able to avoid the aftermath.
I was always too busy checking out the parents to worry about what they thought of me. I often got the feedback that I made my girlfriend’s parents a little nervous. It beat the alternative—being nervous around them. If someone has to do any judging, it might as well be you.
You and the girl may be putting your best foot forward, but your friends and family members won’t be. If you find her friends and family members annoying, it’s a really bad sign. If your friends and family members don’t like her, again that’s a really bad sign. They have the ability to stay objective—they’re not sleeping with her. Our friends and family members usually have our best interests at heart. If they really don’t like the girl, they’ll usually have good reasons.
Relationships take a lot of work. It helps to start off with as many advantages as possible. If her friends and family like you and your friends and family like her, your relationship is off to a great start. If there’s no group love, it doesn’t mean you have to call it off, but it should give you something to think about.