When you saw this title, you thought I was going to teach you how to get pity. You never want a woman to pity you; you want to pity her.
You’re at a bar and you see an attractive girl out with her friends. Hopefully, you’ve learned by now not to do the nervous stare and look away thing. From now on we will call this the ‘Prey-animal’s flinch’. Don’t take on the mannerisms of a prey animal. She’s the prey, you’re the hunter.
You’ll be using your peripheral vision to scope her out without her knowledge; you’re using the ‘Hunter’s gaze.’ Be the powerful hunter. It’s okay if this kind of role-playing seems funny or ridiculous. The whole point of the exercise is to stop feeling weak. Women are repelled by weakness and attracted to power. If becoming a hunter makes you feel powerful, be the hunter. If becoming the hunter makes you laugh—laugh. When you’re laughing, you are not afraid.
You watch her as she tries on a smile and says a few things to her friends. She then takes a quick glance around the room, takes a sip of her drink, drops the smile and looks bored. Boredom is what you’re looking for; this is your signal to cut her from the herd. If she doesn’t look bored, find another target. You want to be a net positive in a woman’s evening, not a net negative. If she’s already having fun, there’s too much risk that you’ll just be bothering her.
Okay, she looks bored. You watch her look up with a hopeful expression as a guy approaches her. Single women go to bars for the same reason single guys do; they want to meet someone. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for you, most of your competition are incompetent, bungling novice hunters. You watch as the guy uses the “Oh you’re so beautiful” line and gets shot down.
Pay particular attention to the loss of hope tinged with despair that shows up on her face once she realizes the guy is another dud. By now, if you’re doing this exercise correctly, you’re having fun and she’s not. It’s okay to feel sorry for her. In fact you want to feel as much pity for her as you possibly can.
In the pit of your stomach, feel how unfair it is for a beautiful woman to be bored in a bar full of single men. In your mind, examine the huge advantage men have over women. We have game consoles; they don’t. We have instantaneous access to hours of mindless fun; they don’t. Even if the woman had an Xbox, it wouldn’t help. She doesn’t have the capacity to enjoy an Xbox. She’s like a child born without fingers who wants to play the piano. It’s a human tragedy! How horrible would it be if you were incapable of enjoying a game console?
When your heart is overflowing with sadness and pity, convert your Hunter’s gaze into a Predator’s gaze. Stare directly at her and when she meets your eyes, smile at her with every emotion you’re feeling. It’s okay if there’s a little bit of laughter in there too. Keep looking at her until she’s absolutely certain you’re going to get up and walk over to her, and then don’t. Turn your head away from her and ignore her completely. Don’t use your hunter’s gaze. Don’t even look in her direction for at least a half hour.
Women want powerful men. Mentally placing yourself in a position of power isn’t harming her. You want her to be thinking, ‘Who is that guy? Why did he smile at me like that? Is he laughing at me? Why isn’t he looking at me again?’ because now she’s no longer bored. With just a look and a smile, you’ve improved her evening. You’ve become a gift-giving altruist bringing joy to those around you.
Try to feel the pressure of her gaze on the back of your neck. You’d be surprised; it’s possible to sense someone looking at you without actually seeing them do it. After a half hour has passed, make eye contact with her again. This time don’t smile. Put on your best puzzled look. Walk up to her using a firm confident stride, never losing eye contact and ask, “I’m sorry if this sounds forward, but have you been looking at me?”
If she blushes, you’re on the right track.
This technique isn’t for everyone. It may or may not fit your style. It’s worth considering because it shows how to use your mental energy to pick up woman. Your thoughts will be reflected in your body language. If you’re having fun, if you are laughing on the inside, a girl will be able to sense it. And the odds are she’ll be attracted.