“You’re not going to hurt me, are you, Lester?” Ruth Ann said, regretting the question the second she’d asked it. She, while underneath the bed, was at his mercy. No way could she get out quickly enough if he decided to… Her mind raced with possibilities and stopped at the worst-case scenario: Lester setting the bed afire.
Lester scooted to the far wall and sat with his back against it. “Is it true?”
“No! It’s a misunderstanding. A major, misinformed misunderstanding.”
“All those nights you said you were with your girlfriends, with your folks, you were with him, weren’t you?”
“No, Lester. No, no, no! It’s not true.”
“While I was here alone, waiting for you, worried something might’ve happened to you.” He closed his eyes and bounced his head against the wall.
“Lester, honey, you got it all wrong. It’s a major misguided misunderstanding.”
“You know what’s stupid? I convinced myself I was lucky to have you. I thought you were doing me a favor because of this scar on my face.”
“Listen to me, Lester. Sheriff Bledsoe—I mean, we—not we… me… I… I thought…” She forgot what she intended to say. Damn!
“Why wouldn’t you allow me to touch you months at a time?”
“Wait a minute,” starting to crawl out. She could think better on her feet. “Let me get out from under here.”
She was halfway out when Lester said, “I really think you should stay under there. I’m afraid what I might do if you come out.”
Oh-oh, Ruth Ann thought as she quickly pushed herself back under the bed.
“Today,” Lester said, “when we were making love—no, when I was making love to you, your mind wasn’t in it. I can’t remember the last time your mind was in it. Your body was there, mind wasn’t. I wonder if you display the same level of enthusiasm with Eric as you do with me. Probably not. Tell me, do you love him?”
“Lester, please! Don’t be ridiculous! You know I couldn’t care less about that man!”
“Then it was only about sex. You could have gotten sex from me and saved the motel fare.”
“What motel fare, Lester? You’re letting your imagination run wild.”
“Three months ago I found a motel receipt in the trash.”
“Hello! We’re investigating trash now?”
“You goddamn right!” Lester shouted. Ruth Ann stiffened. “Don’t bitch-play me! It’s not working this time! My so-called wife gone hours at a time every other night, won’t sleep with me—me, her fucking husband!—comes back all tired and wore out—you’re damn right, I’m deep in trash!”
The silence that followed seemed more portentous than his outburst.
Loud music from a passing car out front flowed through the window. Al Green’s Love and Happiness. How ironic, Ruth Ann thought.
Calmer, Lester said, “Wasn’t I good to you?”
Ruth Ann didn’t respond; yes or no, she knew, would aggravate him.
“Busted my ass night after night pulling overtime at that damn paper mill ’cause you said, ‘Lester, I want this. Lester, I want that.’ Like that damn Expedition out there—you didn’t need it and I can’t afford it. All the while you’re fucking a fifty-cent nigger can’t buy you a nine-nine-cent burger.” He shook his head in disgust.
“Lester, I—”
“Shut up!” Lester snapped. “You can save the lies.” A long moment he glared at her. Ruth Ann tried to hold his gaze but couldn’t. “Tell the truth, it’s the burn mark, isn’t it?” Ruth Ann shook her head. “You a damn lie!” Lester shouted. “Don’t lie to me! You’ve lied to me enough, don’t you think? Is it the goddamn burn mark on my mouth?”
Ruth Ann closed her eyes. No way could she answer that.
“Would you like to know how I got this mark you detest so much?”
No, I don’t!
She only wanted to escape from underneath this bed, put on some clothes and seek shelter in another state or country. “If you need to tell it, Lester.”
“Yes, I need to tell it!” He bounced his head against the wall again and then spoke in a low voice.
“You had someone call Tina and tell her we were at the motel in Lake Village. No way could she have known where we were. You unlocked the door after I locked it. You made damn sure she caught us and she did. She left me, just like you’d planned… just like you’d schemed. At first I tried to convince myself I’d traded up, replaced my chubby, church-going wife with a hot, sexy eighteen-year-old.
“It dawned on me I’d tossed a good woman away for a girl. Tina can’t hold a pole to you in bed, but Tina is a woman, a real woman. She listened, really listened, to what I had to say, and she cared. She really and truly cared about me. Me! When someone loves you, truly loves you, you can feel it, you can feel it in your bones.”
He paused, tears dripping. “I realized I’d made a mistake, and I knew I had to get my wife back. I got down on my knees and begged Tina to come back. She wouldn’t even consider it. ‘A little girl, Lester! A little girl!’ was all she’d say to me. I hurt her.
“Then she refused to see me at all, stopped taking my calls, told her family to tell me the marriage was over. When the man served me with the divorce papers, I lost it, just couldn’t take it. Somehow I had to win her back, let her know I’d made a stupid mistake.
“My cousin George, he and I got drunk, pissy drunk, two pints of Bacardi One-Fifty-One. I got him to take me over to Tina’s sister’s house. Nell said Tina wasn’t there, told me to go home and sober up. I don’t remember bringing the gas can with me, but I had it. Told Nell to tell Tina if she didn’t talk to me, I’d drink gas and kill myself.
“I put the nozzle in my mouth and Nell slammed the door. Sloppy drunk, I still had enough sense not to drink gasoline. I spit it out. I don’t know who started the bullshit I tried to kill myself drinking acid.
“Nell must’ve called the police because George and I heard sirens. He helped me back into the car and we took off. I was okay then. Heart still broke, but physically I was okay. Hell, George and I were laughing. He stopped in front of my apartment and asked was I going to be all right. Yeah, I told him and picked up his cigarettes and took one out. A damn cigarette!
“Drunk, I forgot I’d gargled with gasoline minutes before. I put a match to the cigarette and—swoosh!—a big, blue flame! I started running… screaming. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t hear, couldn’t breathe, just felt fire. When I revived I was in the hospital, head all bandaged up, tubes running everywhere.”
“I was there by your side,” Ruth Ann said. “Remember, Lester? I was there by your side, day and night.”
“Six weeks later,” Lester said, ignoring her comment, “after the painful surgeries, I realized I was marked for life. Each time I look into a mirror I’m reminded of the fact I betrayed my wife. I deserve this mark.”
“I’m sorry, Lester.”
“Sorry for what? My scar or the fact it turns you off so much?”
Ruth Ann didn’t reply.
“Which one is it?”
“For everything, I guess.”
“You guess! I don’t guess, I know for a fact I’ve ruined my life for a self-centered little girl I never should’ve looked twice at. You don’t give a damn about nobody but yourself. I always knew it, tried to pretend it wasn’t true.”
He leaned forward and picked up Teddy. Ruth Ann watched, horrified, as he squeezed Teddy’s neck, all the while staring at her. “Is Eric his father?”
“What? What did you say?”
“You heard me.”
“Whose father? What are you talking about?”
“Shane. Is Eric his father?”
“No! How can you say such a thing? Shane is almost eighteen-years-old. You know whatshisface hasn’t been here that long.”
“Then who is his father?”
“What’s the matter with you? You know who his father is.”
“No, I don’t. Tell me.” He squeezed Teddy harder, its head expanding to the pressure.
“You are, Lester! You know you are!”
Teddy’s head popped and ejected a plume of cotton. Lester tossed it to the floor. “You think I would allow a man like your father to raise a child of mine? You think I’d let my child run wild, live out in the woods like a damn animal?”
Ruth Ann’s expression shifted from shock to anger. In all these years, Lester had never talked to her like this, had never mentioned Shane’s name, not once. If he’d doubted Shane’s paternity, why hadn’t he said so a long time ago?
“No need of looking at me like I’m crazy, Ruth Ann. You know damn well I’m not his father. More shit you threw in my face and expected me to overlook. I did. Now the charade is over.”
Lester got to his feet. “Part of this is my fault—I never should’ve allowed it to go on this long. This time, however, I’m not hurting myself. Not this time, Ruth Ann. Though I can’t guarantee I won’t hurt you. If I were you I’d be out of here before I come back, which should be in five minutes… or less.” He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
Ruth Ann crawled out from under the bed before the sound of his footsteps faded down the hallway. She snatched a pillowcase off a pillow… Where my keys?… She stuffed an assortment of bras, socks and panties into the pillowcase.
Shit! Keys and cell phone on the cabinet in the kitchen. She was headed to her closet when she heard footsteps in the hallway. Without hesitation she rushed to the window, threw the pillowcase to the ground and dove out behind it.