Robert Earl banged his head against the kitchen table. Bang! “No!” Bang! “No!” Bang! “No!” Bang!
“Stop it, Robert,” Estafay said.
Robert Earl banged his head once more and stared at his wife. “Did you hear what she just said? Daddy left all the money to Ruth Ann. All of it! I quit my job, we’re knee-deep in debt. Where you prefer to sleep? A homeless shelter, under a bridge, the library?” He banged his head again and again.
“Stop the nonsense, Robert. Stop it now!” Estafay said, and turned her attention to Shirley, sitting opposite Robert Earl, wearing a gray sweat suit. “Shirley, first let me say I hold no grudge against you. How do we know what you say is true?”
“It’s true. I have no reason to lie to you.”
Estafay sidled between Shirley and the fridge and stood behind Robert Earl—hands covering his face, shaking his head—and massaged his shoulders.
“Just yesterday,” Estafay said, “you were looking for a gun to shoot Ruth Ann. Today you’re telling us all the money is going to her. You see why we find this hard to believe?”
“I see,” and reached down the front of her sweat suit and retrieved a rolled-up sheet of paper. She straightened it out and slid it across the table toward Robert Earl, who banged his head on it, leaving a sweaty smudge. “Read it, Robert Earl.”
“Where did you get this?” Estafay asked as Robert Earl read the paper.
“Does it matter?”
“Dag gummit!” Robert Earl shouted, and crumbled the paper against his forehead.
Shirley said, “Robert Earl, I need it back.”
Robert Earl squeezed his temples. “Dag gummit! Dag gummit!”
Estafay bopped him over the head with an open palm. “Get thee behind me, Satan!”
Robert Earl groaned. Religious condemnation was the last thing he wanted to hear now. How sanctimonious would she be when they both were standing in a soup line? Or elbowing each other for space inside a cardboard box?
“There is a way,” Shirley said, staring at the plastic fruit bowl in the center of the table, “to change the circumstances. A way we can guarantee our share of the money.”
“Beg Ruth Ann?” Robert Earl said.
Shirley shook her head.
“Contest the will?”
“We could. It’ll take a long time and the lawyers will slice off a big chunk of the cake once it settles. Not exactly what I had in mind.”
“What, then?”
“Ruth Ann is on the run. She’s running from me and I think she’s running from Lester. She was over to Momma’s, didn’t stay long. I talked to Leonard and I got the feeling he’s pissed off at her, too. She—”
“I’m sorry to hear it, Shirley,” Robert Earl interrupted. “Get to how we’ll get our share of the money.”
Shirley cut him an irritated look and continued, “She doesn’t have her vehicle. She’s on foot. Doesn’t have any friends, least none I know of. So where can she go? My bet, she’s out there in the woods with Shane.” She stopped and took a sip of water from a jelly glass. “You know where the Boy Scout camp is, don’t you, Robert Earl? Going toward Hamburg?”
Robert Earl nodded, eyes saying, “So what?”
Shirley picked up a plastic orange from the bowl and bounced it on the table. “You know, Robert Earl, bad things happen in the woods. Terrible things.” She put the orange back. “Horrible things! You know what I mean, Robert Earl?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Accidents. Fatal accidents! You could fall off a cliff, get bit by a poisonous snake, you could accidentally shoot yourself. Get the picture, Robert Earl?”
“Snakes, even poisonous snakes, seldom bite people. It happens, rarely. If a snake bit you it probably wouldn’t kill you. Unless you panic. Shirley, snakes are a lot like dogs, they can sense fear. With a snake, though, you can’t tie it up and expect it to stay calm. It will rather die than be shackled.”
Estafay said, “Not what she’s talking about, Robert. Not what she’s talking about at all. She’s talking murder.”
“Murder!” Robert Earl said.
“I didn’t say murder,” Shirley said. “Estafay said murder.”
“Yes, I did,” Estafay said. “Murder. Exactly what you’re insinuating, isn’t it?”
Shirley didn’t respond.
“Is it true?” Robert Earl asked.
“Perchance Ruth Ann befell an accident,” Shirley said, “then the money will be split one less person, which increases the amount to each. A fourth of a million is a lot more than a fifth of a million.”
Robert Earl mumbled and touched his fingers to his thumb. “Really?”
“Really,” Shirley said. “Figure it out on paper.”
“You want me to drop you off over there?” Robert Earl said. “Come on, I’ll drop you off.”
“Robert!” Estafay said. “Robert, I won’t have this talk of evildoing in my house. A child of God resides in this house, and I won’t let it be blasphemed, or used for devil’s work.”
“Estafay, honey, why don’t you go lie down? You look tired. Go rest up a bit.”
“I don’t wanna lie down. How can I lie down while devil’s work is being planned under my roof?”
Shirley smiled at Robert Earl and said, “Estafay, sit down and shut up or get out!”
Estafay’s mouth popped open. She held it agape a beat before saying, “Are you talking to me?”
“Your name Estafay, isn’t it?”
Estafay stood there looking shocked, and Robert Earl could feel her eyes searing the top of his head. She muttered something under her breath and then stormed out of the kitchen.
Shirley said, “We also need to inform Leonard.”
“You really think we oughta bring the fag into this?”
“Don’t call him that!” Shirley snapped. “His name is Leonard, and he needs to know.”
“What about Momma?”
“She doesn’t need to know. It’ll only upset her.”
Robert Earl scratched his neck and looked toward the ceiling. “It scares me to even think about this thing. In a way, it feels sorta… you know… wrong! Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to beg Ruth Ann for some of the money? We get on her nerves she’s bound to give us something to get rid of us. The other way you’re talking—I can imagine the nightmares I’ll have.”
“Robert Earl, you remember Billy Wafer?”
“Yeah. Blind Billy. Why?”
“Remember, Ruth Ann was in junior high and she called herself dating Billy. She walked him to Duncan’s store and she left him there. Billy’s momma came to the house and told Momma and Daddy how Ruth Ann left Billy at the store and stole his wallet. Ruth Ann swore up and down she didn’t take it. Momma beat her ass so long I started crying. I even thought about stopping Momma. Two weeks later I was looking for something under my bed and guess what I found?”
“What?”
“A wallet! A wallet with the initials BW. There were some Braille papers in it and nothing else, not a penny. Now what does that tell you?”
Robert Earl looked confused for a moment, then said, “Ruth Ann was sneaking a guy named Braille into the room?”
Shirley sighed and shook her head. “You ever wonder why during recess you had the playground all to yourself. Why they brought your lunch tray to the classroom?”
Robert Earl smiled. “They liked me. All the teachers said I was special.”
“Were they crying when they said it?”
“Like babies. Every day. How you know?”
“Ruth Ann stole money from a blind kid. You think someone like her would give a damn how hard you begged? She couldn’t care less.”
“You might be right, Shirley.” He pounded his fists on the table and several plastic fruit fell out of the bowl. “This is a heckuva fix we’re in!” He hit the table again and two red apples and an orange rolled to the floor.
“Do it!” he said. “Just do it! Don’t make her suffer no more than you just have to. Whatever you do, don’t mention my name under any circumstances. Sheriff Bledsoe specifically warned me not to get into trouble again. He might give you a pass since this is your first time.”
They heard Estafay, in the living room, singing I Still Have Joy off key. Robert Earl got up and closed the kitchen door.
Shirley said, “Everybody knows Ruth Ann stabbed me in the back. If something, something accidental, were to happen to her, I’d be the prime suspect. When it happens I can’t be in the vicinity.”
“Don’t look at me. I can’t do it! No can do! If it was somebody else, somebody I just met on the street, I might be able to do it. Someone I know, someone I was raised up with—I just can’t do it!”
A thought occurred to him and his eyes lit up. “Hey, I got an idea! The fag! Excuse me, I mean Leonard. I bet he’ll do it. I bet he will.”
Shirley gave him a hard, long look. He couldn’t figure if she was considering his suggestion or willing herself to cool down.
She stood up and said, “Okay, Robert Earl, I’ll talk to Leonard, see what he thinks.”
Robert Earl followed her to the door and when Shirley opened it, Estafay was there, stooped over, head level to the keyhole.