For being too cutting-edge.
Technology is great. Just look at all of the achievements and advancements you use in your daily life. Things seem to get faster, smaller, and smarter before you can fully sign your name on the service contract—it’s crazy. But some things just DON’T need improvement. For example, Gillette now has a six-blade razor! SIX! It should come with tourniquet instructions and a panic button directly linked to 911 in case you slice any major arteries.
Hair always seems to grow in places we just don’t want it to. So people will try anything; they will cut, pluck, tweeze, Nair, wax, zap, and laser. But nothing seems to be as reliable as shaving. So we strive for a good close shave, but we don’t need six blades. It’s not like we are using Windex and a squeegee for aftershave.
When I was five, I wanted to be like my dad. And why not? He was my hero—and my hero shaved. One morning, my peach-fuzz-covered mug must’ve felt a bit too scruffy. So I lathered up all by myself. Not only was I disappointed at the non-Cool Whip flavor of the shaving cream, but I also gashed my ear and started bawling. My hero quickly came to my rescue, and after he removed the blade he taught me the safe way for a kid to shave. That was only ONE blade.
Can you imagine if it were six? I could’ve easily gotten the part of the cop that Mr. Blonde hacked up in Reservoir Dogs.
Gillette. Back off! We don’t need a razor that can shave a porcupine bare. Nor do we need a kung fu grip handle that vibrates while playing Santana/Rob Thomas songs. And we certainly don’t need a bathroom weapon either. Here’s what we want: a razor that cuts hair… got it?