77855.fb2 [you] Ruined It for Everyone! - читать онлайн бесплатно полную версию книги . Страница 27

[you] Ruined It for Everyone! - читать онлайн бесплатно полную версию книги . Страница 27

№023O.J. Simpson’s (first) jury

For letting a guilty man walk free.

THE FACTS

On July 22, 1994, O.J. Simpson answered the question “How do you plead?” at his arraignment with “Absolutely 100 percent not guilty, your honor.” The prosecution thought it had substantial evidence to convict the ex-football hero. But after months of drama, the trial ended. Half of all Americans watched live to hear the verdict agree with Simpson’s original not-guilty plea. The rest of the world was dumbfounded.

Over a year later, a civil trial jury unanimously found O.J. liable for the wrongful deaths of Goldman and Brown. He was ordered to pay $33 million in damages.

It is estimated that you have better than a two-to-one chance of getting away with murder. So if you are looking for a little extra shove to snuff out that irksome spouse, and you have the bankroll for first-rate counsel, the odds are scarily favorable for you to get away with murder. Just make sure you do it in America, where your chance is about 58 percent. Your odds to dodge a conviction in other countries are less favorable: Britain, 26 percent; Russia, 10 percent; China, 2 percent; and Japan, 0.03 percent.

[you] RIFE!

Where did they find this jury anyway? Pardons “R” Us? After the verdict was read, I was waiting for the Candid Camera crew to reveal themselves. But they never did. What seemed an impossible Hail Mary pass ended in a shocking home-team defeat. Perhaps the jury was hypnotically dazzled by the overly catchy lawyer’s rhyme: “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”

And, of course, we have the lawyers to point fingers at. What can I say? (No—really—what can I say without being sued?) Anyway, we learned that with a flawed system and lots of cash, the power of self-preservation should never be underestimated. So remember the odds if you have a taste for blood. I guess the question is, “Do you feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?

Luckily, karma came around to right the wrong with O.J.’s Vegas robbery verdict.