For making girls bitter.
The Barbie doll was invented in 1959 by Ruth Handler. Ruth was a cofounder of Mattel and named the doll after her own daughter. She noticed that most dolls were infants and felt that it was time for a change. The invention was simple: a grown-up doll for children to play with. Barbie was an instant success.
Barbie’s supposed to be a “real” woman, but, besides having no nipples, her measurements originally were 39-18-33 (bow-chicka-wow-wow). This sparked much controversy with critics, their argument being that Barbie was modeled after an “adult” toy, and the measurements were based on male fantasy. Barbie’s bust and hips were later adjusted due to criticism. However, the proportions are still impractical and will set you back about thirty-five grand in plastic surgery.
Mrs. Handler is responsible for crushing prepubescent aspirations. Barbie’s measurements create unrealistic expectations for young girls to live up to. Ruth claimed that Barbie’s busty bosom would build up a girl’s self-assurance. However, since it is physically impossible to have these measurements, it actually has a negative effect on a girl’s self-esteem. Don’t worry, boys: I hear there are talks of reducing Ken’s bulge size as well.
Come on, Ruth! The world is superficial enough. We don’t need to encourage little Jane’s bulimia and boob job, nor to promote young Billy’s steroid use and penis pump.
Ruth Handler was not all bad. Ironically, after she had breast cancer and a mastectomy, she invented a prosthetic breast called the Nearly Me. Many breast cancer victims found relief in the prosthesis, as it matched the weight and density of a natural breast. Karma’s a bitch, but we forgive you.