For causing skateboard accidents.
Great Scott! Back to the Future is the best movie of all time. I watched it so many times in my youth, I can recite the entire movie by heart. I am sure you have seen it multiple times yourself. But in case your religion bans the viewing of PG movies, I will give you a few keywords: Michael J. Fox, the eighties, the fifties, skateboards, time machine, and 1.21 gigawatts!
Here is the only problem with the film: In the beginning, Marty McFly (Fox) is late to school. He rushes off on his skateboard and proceeds to hitch a ride on the rear bumpers of a few vehicles. He does this again toward the middle of the movie to evade his enemy, Biff. This act of being pulled behind a vehicle on a skateboard is called skitching. It was the coolest thing I had ever seen when I was ten years old. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most dangerous things you can do on a skateboard.
I annoyingly begged my dad for an exact replica of Marty’s skateboard for my birthday. Shortly after getting acclimated on it, I was determined to be like Mike! I had it planned—I would secretly grab on to the back of my mom’s car on her way to the store. I did just that, and quickly lost control of the board. My fingers got stuck on the bumper and I could not let go. I was pulled half a block before I could get free. My mom had no idea, and I hobbled back in bloody shame. After she found out, I was forced, as punishment, to play in the soccer tournament the next day still severely damaged with road rash. Mr. Fox, your cool yet risky actions were not resistant enough to imitation by a die-hard fan. How many other nameless victims injured themselves in similar accidents? We blame you!
Unfortunately, my favorite childhood movie star was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1991. But instead of complaining about it, he took action. The Teen Wolf has achieved great strides in Parkinson’s awareness and research. You are more than forgiven for your jovial skateboard stunts. We love you. All we want to know is when Mattel’s gonna start selling those hoverboards!