For inventing spell-checker.
The first spell-checker was created by a group of six linguists from Georgetown University for IBM in the late seventies. The first spell-check program for a personal computer was created in 1980. From there, it became an integral part of all word-processing software. Today, even Web browsers have spell-check support that will alert you with red underlining when the smart side of your brain farts.
Software like this makes us lazy and stupid.
Unfortunately, I am the worst abuser of this spelling aid. Okay, I will admit it: I cheated on my spelling tests as a kid. It has haunted me my entire life. The night before a test, I would press extra hard while writing the spelling words in a notebook. I would then remove the top page, revealing below a sheet of paper that had a faint imprint of the words already spelled correctly. Then I would simply use that piece of paper for the test. Quite deviant, I know.
Maybe I am to blame, ’cause people like me are the reason they invented spell-check in the first place. Maybe it’s the teacher’s fault for not catching me. Or, possibly, IBM is accountable for being too geeky and creating the damn thing. Either way, it’s turning our heads into Jell-O. Consequently, studies have shown that if the average man were forced to compete in a one-on-one spelling bee faceoff, broccoli would win.