77855.fb2 [you] Ruined It for Everyone! - читать онлайн бесплатно полную версию книги . Страница 63

[you] Ruined It for Everyone! - читать онлайн бесплатно полную версию книги . Страница 63

№059The automatic-flush toilet inventor

For a cockamamie idea.

THE FACTS

I am not even going to waste my time looking up who invented this worthless contraption.

[you] RIFE!

Everyone poops—it’s a fact of life. Every household and business has at least one toilet. It’s a big industry. There’s a lot of money to be made in the disposal of human excrement. Unfortunately, there’s not much room for improvement. But of course some idiot had to go and ruin a good thing.

Many public restrooms now have auto-flush commodes and urinals. The only benefit to the auto-flush toilet is sanitation, but it’s nothing a simple hand washing (which everyone should be doing after dropping the kids off at the pool) can’t fix.

The negatives certainly outweigh the barely positive. Auto-flushing never seems to work when it’s supposed to. There’s no opportunity to either pre-flush or courtesy flush. It’s scary for small children. If it flushes too often, water is wasted. If it works too little, it’s unsanitary. There’s just too much room for error, especially when a highly effective foot or hand lever will do the trick.

If you think the toilet-seat lever is the dirtiest thing in your day, think again. The door handles to the stall and bathroom door are usually dirtier. If the inventor wanted to get anal with the lavatory experience, he should have created an automatic door opener. Here are some other things usually dirtier than a toilet: a cell phone, a keyboard, a mouse, a faucet, a kitchen sponge, a purse, a wallet, money, and makeup.

With that said, just how clean are you? It takes about twenty seconds of washing to get your hands germ-free. When was the last time you did that?