For tricking us into online dating.
Adobe Photoshop is a photo-editing software application used for many things, including photo altering and enhancing. Every single picture you see in a magazine was altered in some way to look better than it really is, usually through Photoshop. Unfortunately, a law preventing overembellishment while using this type of software has not been passed. Now the online dating community is flooded with suspiciously enhanced and/or modified photos.
Just look at some of these dating and social networking sites. These people are HOT! The not-so-fine line between enticement and porn has been crossed. It’s basically soft-core smut. Check it out. Forty million Americans already do!
If you’re single and looking, you’ll soon find that there aren’t many social outlets to search for a soul mate. I mean, you can always try flowers or a compliment like “You smell nice,” but in today’s nonsocial environment you will probably be served with a sexual harassment suit. You could also ask your friends to set you up with someone, but only if you are interested in burning a bridge or two. Or maybe you’re old-fashioned and you want to take your chances at a bar. Guess again: If you’re a dude, you only have a 2 percent chance of any relationship ever happening there. Ready to give up? Well, hold on… there is one choice left… It’s called online dating. This can be a viable solution—BUT BE WARNED: Photoshop has made it tricky. You now have to look at photos of people who might not be as hot as their pictures may appear. There is really no way of knowing if a smudge on a forehead isn’t really just a post-edited third eye. And here’s the kicker: Why do we have such high expectations to begin with? It’s because the magazine covers are ALSO being Photoshopped. You bastards!
Here are some online dating photo don’ts (from a man’s perspective):
• Ditch the photo of you and your dog. Do I even have to explain?
• Black-and-white photos are not allowed. Don’t use them unless you’re Rita Hayworth.
• Get rid of photos with friends. Unless you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting.