For destroying Enron.
Enron started as an energy company. It dabbled in many investment areas and rapidly grew to be the seventh-largest corporation in America. Then it quickly folded in what became one of the biggest scandals of fraud and greed in history. Its bankruptcy took jobs, investor savings, retirement funds, and even a few lives. Now no one can ever really feel secure with his or her employer ever again.
Enron achieved great success the old-fashioned way—by cheating. The company paid out millions of dollars in speculated profits that never arrived. The energy giant hid its losses by burying its debt into ghost companies it created. Then it paid off outside accountants to lie about its tax audits. And just before Enron tanked, its top executives liquidated their holdings while conning their loyal employees into holding on to the doomed stock. The head honchos made off with BAGS of cash while the employees and investors lost billions.
• Ken Lay: CEO and chairman of Enron. He was a forerunner of deregulation, which ultimately paved an easy path for his corporate abuses. He was found guilty of conspiracy and fraud. Unfortunately, he died before we could send him up the river.
• Jeff Skilling: He started the mark-to-market accounting that gave access to money made on speculation. Well, now he can speculate if he’s next on Bubba’s prison-bitch list, because he’s currently rotting in jail.
• Arthur Andersen: This was the “independent” accounting firm hired to review Enron’s books to protect the public. But nope, they took bribes and cooked the books.
• The politicians: Both political parties had their hands in Enron’s deep pockets. And if we asked for a show of those hands, George W.’s administration would raise both.
• The consultants: Enron’s lawyers, accountants, bankers, and advisers all knew it was a scam. They just kept their mouths shut and collected their kickbacks.
• Enron employees: You guys lost so much it’s hard to blame you too—but we will anyway. Were sunglasses and canes part of your work-issued uniforms? It is amazing just how powerful denial can be. Want your money back? Turn the CEOs’ lawyers upside down and start shaking!