For ruining professional sports.
Remember Bob Sugar in the film Jerry Maguire? He was the asshole sports agent who stole Jerry’s clients. Well, Drew Rosenhaus is the real-life Bob Sugar. In fact, the character was based on him. Make no mistake, Rosenhaus is a real-deal high-profile sports agent. He represents many NFL superstars. He’s an aggressive negotiator who drives up the prices and gets athletes ridiculous salaries. Similarly, Scott Boras is another notorious sports agent. His clients are baseball players. He is known as “baseball’s most hated man.” Boras also gets unheard-of deals for his clients. As a result, these deals usually hurt Major League Baseball by widening the gap between wealthy and poor teams.
You greedy dicks. Here is the rundown: They get the high-profile players huge sums of money, which alienates them from the average professional player. The problem is, the big names already get multi-million-dollar endorsement deals anyway. Are they really increasing a star’s quality of living by negotiating an extra six million when they already make five? Or are they just worried about increasing their commissions? All they are really doing is raising our ticket prices, and, of course, just like Charlie Sheen’s love life, we pay for it.
What is throwing a ball through a hoop worth? What is the cost of seeing someone whack a ball with a wooden stick or kick a ball into a net? Is it equal to someone saving a life? How about educating a child? Or fighting for others’ freedom? We really need to rethink who the heroes are, and how they should be rewarded. Teachers, doctors, and firemen should be our heroes. Perhaps they are noble because they follow their hearts to do the right thing, all for shitty pay. Or maybe they are selling themselves short. Perhaps they should seek agent sponsorship. Give Scott or Drew a call and see what kind of contract they can fetch for you…
In defense of the accused, Rosenhaus did once save the life of a young boy who nearly drowned by administering CPR to him. There might still be a spot for you at the Pearly Gates after all (but don’t hold your breath).