For crimped hair.
If you are like me and already despise Barbra Streisand, or if you were just waiting for a reason not to like her, then this one’s for you…
The modern crimping iron was specifically invented for Streisand’s hair in 1972 by one of the founders of Sebastian. It was undoubtedly one of the biggest hair mistakes ever conceived. The fear of having to see any additional images of this hairstyle resulted in me not finding the designer’s intent or inspiration. We can only assume it was to detract from certain facial features. What we do know is that this hideous hairdo, in its time, became hugely popular; the rest is bad-hair history. This fact alone should make you cringe at the sound of Barbra’s voice.
What else is wrong with Babs? She always seems to stick that self-righteous beak where it doesn’t belong. She is annoying and egotistical, not to mention that she sues anyone for anything. She even sued a California coastline website for having an unmarked aerial photo of her house. Of course she lost and had to pay the defendant’s legal fees, hooray! Humorously, these events triggered a new term called “the Streisand effect.” It encompasses an attempt to censor information that only results in greater exposure. (This book could always use some added press… Go on, Streisand, I dare you!)
Barbra’s smug attitude crimps our style. She ruins it whenever she opens her mouth. Go away. In honor of Barb’s bad hair, here are a few other bad ideas for the head:
• The mullet. Its ambassador was Billy Ray Cyrus. And just when we thought nothing worse could happen to pop culture, Cyrus spawned Miley.
• The rattail. A less conspicuous variation on the mullet. No, it doesn’t look better braided.
• The flattop. If you have one of these, keep it and hope someone thinks you’re being ironic.
• Teased bangs. Bangs are debatable. But eighties-style seven-inch Aqua Net-teased bangs, need I say more?