For making the future look dorky.
Dean Kamen invented the Segway in 2001. It’s an electric two-wheeled personal transporter. The apparatus uses very precise gyroscopic sensors to keep its balance. The operation of the device is simple—just lean forward to advance, lean back to reverse, and lean the handle bar left or right for either direction. It’s quite an extraordinary invention. It practically defies gravity. Unfortunately, when you ride it, it makes you look like a complete dumb-ass.
As the joke goes, “What do mopeds and fat chicks have in common? They’re both fun to ride until your friends catch you.” Now we can add the Segway to that list for the trifecta.
The thought of what the future might be and look like has interested and perplexed us all. We speculate as to what buildings, cities, cars, computers, fashion, and many other things will look like in the years to come. Usually, our mind conjures up something very cool and original. We see this translated into concept designs, movies, and art. Unfortunately, our perception is always much more sophisticated than the actual usable end products. The Segway is a prime example of this. Gliding along a flat surface without moving our legs is exciting in theory. However, the actual apparatus and the person riding it look lamer than Screech on rollerblades.
Aside from poor aesthetics, the Segway doesn’t exactly promote good health, either. In fact, it encourages obesity and laziness. Sure it’s fun, but do you need really to glide everywhere? Remember, the more you exercise in life, the better off you will be. So ditch the Segway and start struttin’.