For making a sticky mess of things.
In 1869, William Finley Semple became the first person to patent chewing gum. The first attempt at bubble gum was made by Frank Henry Fleer, in 1906. He called it Blibber-Blubber. Fleer’s recipe was later perfected by Walter Diemer in 1928, who called his product Double Bubble. This gooey pink concoction changed regular ol’ boring chewing gum into the lip-smacking good time of blowin’ bubbles. Until, of course, the flavor wears out…
We have Mr. Diemer to blow the whistle on every time we step in this gluey goop. No, he did not invent gum, but it’s his fault it gained popularity and that things started getting messy.
Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a stick or two of gum now and again. In fact, I chewed it almost every day as a child (just ask my dentist). The problem is that used gum never seems to find a trash can. Why throw it away properly when you can stick it to something and ruin another person’s day? Seriously, show me one person who has never stepped in gum and I will show you a levitating man. It’s on the streets and the sidewalks, in parks and under desks and on benches, ready to get on your shoe, in your hair, and on your clothes. It seems like the only place it’s not is in the garbage. It’s out to get you (or at least on you).
So go ahead if you must, chomp away. But if you do chew gum, when you are through with it, make sure it ends up in the land of tin cans and fish bones. You may also swallow it or stick it behind your ear for disposal. Don’t worry: It takes about seven years less than you think to digest. And for Christ’s sake, chew it with your mouth closed.