For promoting valet parking.
Valet parking is described in the dictionary as a service offered by a hotel, restaurant, etc., through which patrons’ cars are parked by an attendant. Perhaps you’ve never seen this service? You either don’t have a car or never dine out. Either way, if you have not experienced one, you might be labeled a cheap bastard.
Los Angeles started promoting this senseless status symbol in the 1940s. I guess the Hollywood elite felt comfortable driving their own cars, but self-parking was just SO 1930s. Whatever the reason, the tradition somehow stuck, and now we have to pay a minimum of $4.50 at many ordinary restaurants and hotels to be, usually, inconvenienced. Seriously, it doesn’t make me feel any more upper class to have my car parked for me at the Cheesecake Factory.
Don’t get me wrong—there are a few good reasons to valet park. Perhaps there is no other parking available, or it may take longer than fifteen minutes to walk from a self-found parking space, or maybe the weather is bad. In these cases, it’s worth it, and I am all for it! However, many establishments around the country feel they must have mandatory valet parking even though there are huge, nearly empty dedicated parking lots adjacent to the restaurants. This is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
What if they skipped the parking part and just cleaned your car, or added some windshield washer fluid, or replaced the breaks, or gave you an alignment? I wouldn’t feel ripped-off if they did that. But no, instead, they just lollygag to your car and bring it back to you in the same or worse condition in which you gave it to them.
Here are the new RIFE laws: Twenty seconds or less or it’s free. If you can physically see your car from the valet stand, then it’s free. If it takes longer to wait for some guy to get the car than it would to walk to it, it’s free. If they don’t run to your car, it’s free. If they stink up the car, it’s probably from the BO caused from running, but it will still be free. I don’t like your cheesecake anyway.